The Everyday Mystic

Incorporating Spiritual Practices into Everyday Life

Archive for February, 2008

The Value of Mental Health Breaks

Feb-28-2008 By krisrob02

Are you challenged to live authentically and in alignment with your spiritual values on a daily basis?  Many of us are so busy every day that it’s hard to even remember what spiritual values are when we are on the go from morning to night.  We have children to raise, jobs to commute to, work to do, meetings to attend, emails and phone calls to return, soccer practices and music lessons to chauffeur kids to.  It’s exhausting to think of the obligations we have in our lives.  Stop the world, I want to get off!

I hate to tell you that the world ain’t stopping for nobody, but you can choose to withdraw periodically to re-charge the battery.  I call these mental health breaks because they restore sanity to an otherwise crazy existence.  I’m talking about a moment, an hour, an afternoon or a day of doing something that you wouldn’t normally take time to do or is outside of your usual routine.  I find it especially helpful if I do something that exposes me to beauty.

Yesterday, I took a mental health break and went to an art museum all by myself.  I planned to go on Wednesday when admission to the museum is free - breaks don’t need to cost a lot of money.  I found myself totally immersed in the visual and physical experience of appreciating the sculpture that was on special exhibit.  It was like a walking meditation - as I circled each piece, I felt like I was at one with it.  It soothed my heart and my soul to see such beauty.

I also attend the symphony regularly to hear my husband, who is a professional musician, perform.  Last weekend’s concert was heavenly.  I weep tears of gratitude for the beauty of the music.

I come back to my office refreshed after experiencing these moments of joy and beauty.  My spirit and energy is renewed, and I find that I am highly productive, full of new ideas and vigor.  Even though it may seem like you are playing hooky from school, these breaks are essential for creative thinking and stress reduction.  I always see the benefit in terms of increased productivity after taking a mental health break.

Please seek out small moments of joy and beauty in your lives everyday and schedule yourself for a monthly mental health break.  Do something different.  Encounter some beauty.

Affirmation:

I find joy in the beauty that surrounds me.  I am worthy of giving myself mental health breaks. 

 

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Loving Ourselves

Feb-27-2008 By krisrob02

Loving, approving of and encouraging ourselves may be one of the most practical spiritual practices available.  It is only when we truly love ourselves that we can be spiritually free and happy.  If you affirm, as I do, that human beings carry a flame of Divinity in our souls and that we are reflections of Source, then encouragement that we give ourselves comes from that which we can always count on - Infinite Intelligence or God.  Seeking encouragement or approval from outside of yourself is bound to be disappointing, and it is for this reason:  Others project onto you what is happening inside of themselves.  Stated more broadly, we all project onto others what is happening inside of us.  Therefore, no one can approve of you in exactly the way you need it - only your divine essence can do that.

This lesson is one that I have had to learn again and again.  Life’s spiral of experiences keeps bringing me back to this concept of self-love.  Recently, I reviewed my work with business coach Dr. Jayne Gardner (www.gardnerinstitute.com) from 18 months ago.  One of the issues I worked on with her was my desire to have a "wife", or someone who could love, encourage and approve of me in my work and my spiritual life. With Jayne’s help, I identified this as a limiting belief.  The belief was "I need to seek approval from others".  My new affirmation became "I approve and encourage myself."  Yet, here I am, 18 months later, learning this lesson from a different angle, through a different lense.

What I realized last week is how futile it is to expect others to love and approve of you.  Understanding that we all project our own "stuff" onto others was the point of illumination, helping me to understand that others can not possibly give me what I need.  The approval or encouragement others give is filtered through their own experience.  Heck, when I look at it that way, I realize I don’t want other’s approval or encouragement, because it has all their hopes, expectations, dreams, and frustrations - their stuff - bundled up with it.  It is heavy with their projections. Thanks, but I’d rather love myself in exactly the way that I need.

Last Saturday, as I was contemplating this "aha" moment, I was inspired to take action to love and encourage myself.  I found a greeting card and wrote myself an encouraging letter.  The salutation was "Dear Kristin" and the signature was "Love, Kristin".  In the note, I told myself what I great job I had done speaking to several groups that week, and congratulated myself for putting aside my expectations that others would accept and love me.  I mailed the card, and received it just yesterday.

When I got the mail, I acted like a dog who is given a new bone and goes to a special, private place to eat it - I went to my meditation corner, sat on my prayer bench and slowly, savoringly, read the note.  I beamed.  My heart overflowed with happiness. I was so relieved to have found a wife, a mother, a confidante, a cheerleader in myself.

Try this yourselves.  Write yourself an encouraging note, telling yourself how much you love, encourage and appreciate yourself.  Mail it, and see what happens in your heart.

Prayer:

Infinite Intelligence, shine through my heart as I love, encourage and approve of myself.  I know that it is your love shines through my heart and back to myself.  Amen.

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Trusting God

Feb-26-2008 By krisrob02

Last week was a hard week for me.  I am making a transition in my business, away from what I’ve been doing for the past ten years and into something unknown.  This blog is part of that transition.  As I’ve mentioned before, my promise is to blog for the year 2008 and see what happens.  I hope that by sharing my spiritual journey with you, you will find courage on yours.

My journey is taking me through some dark woods right now.   I look ahead, and I can’t see where the path is going beyond the next few feet.  The guiding moonlight has not yet appeared.  Periods of transitions are scarey to me, while at the same time they are strangely exciting.  The problem is, I am not a patient person.  I have trouble waiting for anything.  However, I am comforted by the affirmation that Julia Cameron, in her book The Artist’s Way, suggests: "Leap, and the net will appear."

So, I am trying to trust God and the Universe to bless my intention and grace my transition period.  I am trying to remain in a state of quiet expectation and excitement.  Where will this take me?  I am trying to set my intention and let God take care of the details.  I trust that the right people will show up in my life to help me, that money will come to me in the right amounts and at the right times, and that I am on the right path for me at this time.

Prayer:

Source of our being-ness, I rest in your arms.  I trust in the process of change.  I trust that the universe will bring me blessings, not curses.  I leap and the net appears.  Amen.

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The Pygmalion Effect

Feb-22-2008 By krisrob02

I was at the St. Louis airport on Tuesday, returning home after giving a luncheon presentation to an association meeting there.  At the security checkpoint, I gave the Transportation Safety Administration (TSA) official my boarding pass and driver’s license, looked her in the eye, smiled and greeted her with a non-descript “How are you today?”  At first I didn’t understand her reply.  Shaking her head, she said, “It must be in the water… All you Texans are always smiling and friendly.”  I didn’t know what to say, so I mumbled something like, “It’s all that Texas sunshine, I guess.”   

I was flattered and proud that she thought that I and all my fellow Texans are friendly people – it doesn’t always appear that way when you live here!  But I was especially pleased that she noticed that I was being pleasant and friendly. You see, the truth is that traveling is bittersweet for me.  I’m a big ole homebody that hates to leave home and family, but thrills to be going new places and meeting new people. I love to hate – or hate to love - traveling! About a year ago, it finally dawned on me that grumbling and chafing at air travel’s inevitable delays, hassles and crowds really does not make the plane fly faster or the crews more agreeable.  With that realization and my new-found wisdom about the law of attraction, I’ve made a concerted effort to travel with a smile on my face.  I always have something nice to say to each TSA officer I meet, I greet the flight attendants with a smile and a hello, and I always thank the crew as I disembark from the plane.  “Thanks for a good flight” or “Thanks for getting us here safely” expresses the gratitude I have for all the flights I take and have lived to tell about, which is 100% so far! 

I am happy to report that travel goes more smoothly for me now.  I swear that I experience fewer delays, cancellations and surly gate agents than I did before.  But perhaps it’s just the inside of me that changed.  I consciously set my expectations that my travels will be easy, and they are. 

The power of setting intentions is old, old stuff.  Remember the Pygmalion effect?  The popular musical “My Fair Lady” is based on the play “Pygmalion” by George Barnard Shaw, which demonstrates the power of expecting someone to improve – in this case, Professor Henry Higgins’ expectations that Eliza Doolittle could be trained to speak like a lady.  The Pygmalion effect posits that people will perform or act better because a teacher or mentor expects them to. The Pygmalion effect works for me with air travel – I expect things to go smoothly and they do.   

What tests your patience?  For me, it’s air travel.  For you, it may be driving in commuter traffic, difficult bosses or unruly co-workers.  Play with this: Set an intention for a positive outcome in your next patience-testing situation. Before entering into the situation, picture a positive outcome or affirm to yourself what outcomes you’d like.  Don’t give up if the first time it doesn’t work well.  Keep trying by setting your intentions and be grateful for whatever shows up.

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Dark Nights of the Soul

Feb-21-2008 By krisrob02

Dark nights of the soul is a term coined in the sixteenth century by St. John of the Cross to describe the despair that a mystic feels when she loses her connection to Source.  The cause could be many: a loved one’s death, loss of a job, sickness, or any other life challenge.  Or it could be just a normal reaction caused by the rhythm of our existence, perhaps our astrology or the phase of the moon.  Fact is, there will be times when we either rebel against our God or we feel disconnected from the Infinite Intelligence.

Mother Theresa experienced a very long dark night of the soul.  In her early days, she felt she had a direct connection to Jesus, who called her to create a new institution in to directly serve the poor.  Then she lost that direct connection to Jesus – he abandoned her, so to speak.  Her deep devotion and faith carried her through the rest of her life.  (For more on Mother Theresa, please read Mother Theresa: Come be my Light)

For mere mortals like us, the dark night can be a passing phase or a longer one. I have a lot of passing dark nights of the soul – there are times when I’ll go days, even weeks, without meditating or journaling, my two primary spiritual practices.  Sometimes I am angry at the Divine because of my (in retrospect, pathetic} interpretation of events and I need to boycott God for a while. Sometimes, I am rebelling against surrendering to the Divine’s way (I could say “the Divine’s will” but that is too strong for even me). I think there is, in all of us, a streak of the disciple Peter, who was often rebelling or negotiating with Jesus and God.  Othertimes, such as right now, I am afraid.  Afraid, perhaps, of my own power, afraid to take the next step spiritually.  I feel I am on the threshold of a big shift.

I find it interesting that I am being tempted during this dark night.  I recognize it for what it is, I interpret tempation as a challenge to rise above it and hold fast to my intention.

What’s important in these times is to recognize that this is a passing phase and that a fallow time is not only good for fields (according to the Hebrew bible, fields should be left to rest every seven years, hence our idea of a sabbatical leave from work).  Fallow time is good for the soul.  It’s OK to be estranged from our connection for a while.  The trick is in gently steering ourselves back to our former spiritual practices, or to change our practices to something more suitable for our current evolutionary stage.

Forgiveness of self starts with providing love and compassion to ourselves as we go through these dark times.

Prayer:

Infinite Intelligence, grant me the perspective to see through the darkness to the dawning light.  Amen.

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The Evolving Soul: Credo

Feb-17-2008 By krisrob02

I believe that a soul’s job is to evolve, to learn, to grow in wisdom and maturity.  The soul evolves not only during a single lifetime, but over many lifetimes.  Before incarnating, each soul chooses a life based on the projected challenges – or lack thereof – that a particular life might pose so that the soul has the opportunity to learn the “lessons” it needs to at this point in its maturity.  There is no judgment if the soul does not evolve or fully learn what it needs, just another chance to get it right in a future lifetime.  The soul of a person who has done great harm to others in a lifetime might be given an opportunity to switch places in a future lifetime – to be the victim of another’s aggressions.  Some call this karma. 

Evolution takes place both during a lifetime and over lifetimes.  During this current lifetime, I, Kristin Robertson, reserve the right to evolve in my understanding of all things spiritual, in my understanding of the topics that I discuss in this blog.  In fact, I hope that you are witness to my evolution as I write about my journey.  My most sincere prayer and intention for you is that, by reading about my struggles and thoughts, your evolution is aided, or your courage increases because of the sense that we sojourn together.

This week, one of my spiritual teachers encouraged me to “hear” things from the Universe without an intermediary. Over that past 18 months, I have conversed often in my meditations with my spiritual guides and the souls of loved ones who have passed away.  Now, my teacher encourages me to cut out the “middleman”, so to speak, and just hear my truth directly from Source.  She says that wisdom and information is available to me, just as it is to you, if I and you will only believe that it is so.  Does Source equal God or Goddess?  She would not use those words.

I fervently wish to be able to access wisdom directly.  And, frankly, it scares me to go directly to the Source, but I’m not sure why.  I haven’t meditated since speaking to her – yes, I get discouraged and fall away from my good habits. In fact, I’m a little depressed about my reaction.   My intention is to return to my meditation practice, with some small changes, and share with you what happens as my soul evolves.

Well, let’s all laugh at ourselves – if you’ve read so far, you’re included in this – because of the lack of inherent entertainment value in this blog post.  As Roshi Joan Halifax (www.upaya.org) says, coming to her Zen center and meditating all day might look like it has very low entertainment appeal, but the inner journey is fascinating to those so inclined.  Welcome, fellow sojourner, and blessings for your journey as our souls evolve together.

Prayer:

Infinite Intelligence, bless my spiritual journey. Help me hear and learn what is needed for my soul’s evolution. May my journey give others courage for their own. Amen.

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Everything is Holy

Feb-14-2008 By krisrob02

Last weekend, I had heard Peter Mayer’s song called “Holy Now” (you can read the lyrics by searching on “holy now” at  http://www.petermayer.net/music/). In the song, he relates that when he was a boy, he went to church to experience the holy or to hear about long-ago miracles.  Today, his view of the holy includes everyday life – the lyrics tell us that “Everything is holy now” and “Everything’s a miracle.”

I was driving to Houston yesterday to speak to a technical services industry group there.  It’s a long drive from where I live, so I had a good opportunity to be with myself. I got to thinking about Peter Mayer’s song.  I contemplated how one could live in a way that allows one to see that everything is holy and everything is a miracle.  It’s a mind-set of living in a state of constant grace, I decided.  Hmm, there’s a weird concept - grace.  Grace to me is feeling like you are being cuddled in the arms of the Divine – pure safety, pure love, feeling like the universe sends you the gift of pure acceptance of whoever you are.  Living in a state of grace allows me to feel that everything is holy now. 

“So how do you live in a state of grace?” I asked myself.  There are two spiritual skills that help me live in an “everything is holy now” mindset.  The first is gratitude and the second is perspective. 

Living in a State of Grace: Gratitude

Gratitude, in the form of appreciating the little things in life, is vital to living in the moment.  Gratitude helps you love what you’ve got right now, not what you’d rather have.  I found gratitude yesterday in my car to Houston – gratitude for the sun, gratitude for the opportunity to speak to a wonderful group of people, gratitude to be living this life of mine. Today, I walk around my home taking mental pictures of scenes I’m grateful for – oh, there’s the sweet dog lying on the stairs, the morning sun dances on the tile floor, the cup of aromatic tea makes me smile.

Appreciating those around you is another aspect of gratitude.  In my family, we constantly tell each other “I love you”.  My teenage daughter was sick last night, and I took advantage of the opportunity to appreciate her.  If you know anything about teenagers, you know that the only time they are really glad to be “loved on” by their momma is when they are sick.  I sat at her bedside, stroking her hair.  I told her how much I loved her, how proud of her I was for the person she’s becoming and the choices she’s made.  I told her I’d sit there until her body twitched, which is the sure sign that she’s asleep.  Then I quietly crept away, knowing she was getting the rest she needed.

Perspective

The second skill is perspective, which I use for want of a better word.  Perspective helps you step out of the emotional grit of the moment and attempt to see a broader view.  Several ways to gain perspective are helpful to me.  One is to search for the lesson in the situation, as in, “What opportunity for growth or better understanding does this provide me?” Many times, the lesson for me is to learn to apply a broader perspective more quickly! Another way to gain perspective is to look for the good, especially the future good, in the situation.  My son was recently sick and the doctor prescribed a drug that could help him.  My first reaction was, “Why does my son have to suffer?”  My second reaction, the one that sought the good in the situation, was, “This is perfect.  Now he has a drug he can use when he encounters this again. He is empowered to help himself.”  I had to choose this perspective, but I’m really glad I did.  Another way to gain perspective is to realize that you are not the only one who has ever experienced the situation.  Applying this to my son’s situation sounds like this: “A lot of people take this drug and find it helps them lead productive, empowered lives.”

Gratitude and perspective help us live our lives as if “everything is holy now”.  My goal is to live that way every day.

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Don’t Discount the Source!

Feb-11-2008 By krisrob02

One spiritual practice that can help you attract more blessings into your life is to be aware of and grateful for the results of your intentions, however small.  My wonderful business and life coach, Dr. Jayne Gardner (www.gardnerinstitute.com), calls this “Counting your wins” or identifying all the positive events that you attract into your life.  One of Jayne’s three spiritual laws is “As within, so without”, which means that your inner mindset will attract external events and blessings into your life.  Counting your wins is a way to become aware of and multiply those blessings.

We are wise to never discount the source of blessings.  Blessings come to us in response to our inner work, our mental and spiritual outlook, and they can come in many guises. However blessings come, be grateful and pat yourself on the back for attracting them.

I caught myself recently discounting (for just minute!) the source of a blessing.  In my previous post about abundance mentality (http://kristinrobertson.com/abundance.htm), I recounted the story of two unexpected checks arriving in the mail after I had donated some money to a local non-profit organization in faith that money would flow back to me in return.  Here’s a big confession: one of those unexpected checks was from my father, the person who has taught me most about generosity and abundance.  My first reaction was to discount the source of this blessing, as in “Well, it came from Dad, so that can’t count as a result of my intention.”  Hogwash! I told myself as soon as I discovered what my false voice was chattering about.  Who cares where the check came from? It arrived, and I wanted to be grateful and in awe of my tremendous ability to manifest my dreams.

About a year ago, another incident occurred in which I was tempted to discount the source of the blessing. It was during a time that I was mentally playing with the law of attraction. I decided to set an intention and see if I could manifest it: I wanted someone to bring flowers to the party I was hosting that night.  About 30 minutes before the party began, a friend called to ask, “Is there anything you need for tonight?”  By the way, this friend and I had been talking about the law of attraction just days before, so it was no coincidence that it was she who called.  Fortunately, I was honest with her and said, “Oh yes, I would so love to have flowers on my table!  Could you bring them?”  Turns out she is an extraordinary flower arranger, so she not only brought the flowers but arranged them in a spectacular bouquet for my table.  For a moment, I discounted the source – after all, I had to ask her for flowers, they didn’t just appear by magic – but then I realized that I had received exactly what I asked for.

Be grateful for every blessing you manifest, no matter the source!

Intention:


My dreams manifest in multiple ways in my life.  I am grateful for all the blessings I attract into my life.
 

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Abundance

Feb-9-2008 By krisrob02

My husband and I have been blessed financially during the almost-27 years we’ve been married.  We’ve always been respectful of money, lived below our means and saved like maniacs.  As we look forward to our children leaving the nest to go to college, we are proud that we’ve saved for their educations and for our retirement.

One aspect of our finances that I believe is important is generosity.  What does generosity look like for our family?  Well, it is paying people who work for us an above-market wage, tipping generously and giving money to charities and non-profit organizations.  I have run my business on these principles, and I believe that any generosity that I have shown has been returned to me many times over.  In other words, I think that one reason why both my family and my business have been blessed financially is because we give generously and out of a sense of the abundance of the universe.

Money is a representation of energy.  When energy is dammed up and not allowed to flow, it disintegrates, like a battery that sits on the shelf and is never used. Love, another form of energy, multiplies when you give it away.  Energy is enhanced by allowing it to flow.  When we bless others by giving money to worthy causes, whether that be a generous tip to the hair dresser, a check to a family member who is in financial distress or a donation to a non-profit organization, we set up a flow of energy that I believe ultimately comes back to bless us.

I do not believe that we set up a flow of blessed energy when we spend money on ourselves.  Although there is nothing wrong with having nice things (I believe that the Divine wants us to enjoy abundance in every way), buying a new car does not set up the chain of blessing that giving away money does.  Buying a new car has a different feel and purpose to it – you don’t get the same satisfaction you get when giving to a cause that is bigger than yourself.

When I get concerned about money, I counter the anxiety by donating some money.  For example, I am on a quasi-sabbatical through the end of this month, and cash flow has been a bit worrisome for my conservative fiscal nature.  My local public radio station did a pledge drive last week, and I decided to give generously even though I am not bringing in much income right now.  And, my husband and I hosted a reception and brunch for our extended family during a recent family reunion because we knew it was the right thing to do.  These acts of giving were done on faith that these blessings would be returned to us.  My husband simply says, “It’s the right thing to do.”

I’ve been thinking about this blog entry for the past two days, wondering if I had the guts to publish it. Well, now I do and here’s why: In today’s mail, there were two unexpected checks from different sources that equaled the amounts that we had recently spent on family and charities.  We started the blessing, and it was returned to us.  I feel so blessed.

Our US congress and president are currently considering sending each citizen a tax rebate next summer.  What would happen if a large number of us would send our rebate check to a charity?  Not only would it stimulate the economy, but it would stimulate a flow of blessings right back to us.  I think that’s what my family will do.

Prayer:
Oh Holy and Abundant One, source of all our blessings, help us develop generous hearts and hands to do Your work in this world.  Amen.

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Redemption

Feb-6-2008 By krisrob02

Redemption is such an exciting experience when it happens to me.  Redemption excites me and incites in me an incredibly grateful heart.  It makes me realize that I truly walk hand-in-hand with the Divine – just like you do, like each one of us do.  I hope that by sharing my story, you might awaken to the Divine’s redemptive power in your life. 

Through email yesterday, I received a sizable order for my book about the technical services industry, called Spectacular Support Centers (www.spectacularsupportcenters.com), from a company with whom I had a bad experience when I spoke at their conference several years ago.  Out of the blue, this company’s bookstore representative requested copies of my book to sell at their upcoming conference – the same conference that I had the bad experience in a previous year!  The enormous significance of this simple book order didn’t hit me until last night.  While packing the books for shipment, I suddenly put all the pieces together. 

 

This, I realized, is redemption in action!  It took me several months to get over the hurt and humiliation of the experience at that conference (I won’t share details, but suffice it to say that I am both a perfectionist and an obsessor, so when I’m humiliated, whether it was my fault or not, I obsess about it).  I was mad at myself and at the organization. In retrospect, both parties were equally at fault for whatever wrong was done. One of my regrets was that my angry response to the situation precluded any chance of working together again – neither party would have wanted that!  Or, perhaps, that was just my interpretation of it.

 

But – my book opened a neutral avenue for us to work together again, in a non-threatening, indirect way.  “This is a God-thing!” I almost shouted as I taped shut the box of books I was packing.  This is redemption.

 

Redemption.

  The word drips with religious overtones, some of which may have negative connotations to you.  If so, thanks for reading so far!  Here’s what I mean by redemption:  Redemption refers to forgiveness of past sins, a chance to start afresh with something or someone, to begin again anew.  To convert a situation infused with negativity to one suffused with possibility.  Redemption is springtime, when new life conquers the death and despair of winter. 

Redemption is possible in every situation.  Seek it.  Indulge it when it happens, but above all, be grateful for it when it graces your life.  That’s how I felt last night.

 

Prayer:


Oh God of Many Names, I am full of gratitude for your grace and the redemption you sent me.  Help me to know in my heart that redemption is always possible; indeed, it is a possibility that resides beneath the present illusion. Help all sentient beings recognize the joy of redemption in their lives. Amen.

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