The Everyday Mystic

Incorporating Spiritual Practices into Everyday Life

Archive for September, 2008

Spiritually Mature Stress Management

Sep-27-2008 By krisrob02

Do you ever have a day when you look at your calendar and you want to either

a) cry (guys may not want to admit this, but it’s true for me) OR

b) run away to a remote desert island where they serve unlimited mai tais

because you have back-to-back meetings all day AND a pressing project to finish?  This is called stress - too much to do in too little time.  Times like this call us to our highest selves, because this is when the rubber hits the road on the spiritual journey.

It’s important to have a list of coping mechanisms in your back pocket, so to speak, in preparation for days like this.  Since I had one of those days yesterday, I have compiled this list of things to do the next time it happens.  I hope that by writing it down and sharing it with you, both of us can feel better about the next time we face this dilemma.

Here is a list of spiritually mature coping mechanisms for a stressful day:

  1. Cancel or skip one meeting!  Surely there is something in your day that you can give up. Delegate, dismiss or defer the meeting that isn’t both urgent and important.  This alone can reduce your stress. Think of it as setting an example for others as a good way to put boundaries on your time.
  2. Take a moment to go outside.  Walk slowly and mindfully, inhaling and exhaling with the rhythm of your step.  This can ground you immediately.
  3. Ring a chime or bell if you can do so without disturbing others.  Take that moment to simply listen to the beauty of the sound.
  4. Stretch.  Anyone can stretch right in their chair.  Raise your arms above you and reach for the ceiling.  Lean your head down over your knees and let your arms relax to the floor.
  5. Take a moment to meditate or pray. Go to the restroom if you need a moment of privacy.  Meditate on your breath or pray a short prayer.  This is a means to the end of "praying without ceasing."
  6. Keep a scripture verse or inspirational saying on a small piece of paper.  Put it in your pocket or tack it on your bulletin board.  Read it as if you are reading it with your heart. Get lost in its meaning for just a moment. Let its peace invade your being.
  7. Write or say an affirmation such as, "All my work gets done with ease," or "I finish my tasks with serenity," or "God guides my hands and feet as I do my job."

What are your spiritually mature coping mechanisms for a stressful day?  I’d like to hear from you!

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"Peace Within" Workshop in New Mexico

Sep-27-2008 By krisrob02

Gentle readers, I’d like you to be aware of a workshop that a friend of mine is conducting this weekend in Truth or Consequences, NM and on October 10-11, 2008 in Ruidoso, NM.  I met Lisl, the facilitator, at a women’s retreat at Upaya Zen Center and was drawn to her peacefulness.  Here are some of the activities she’ll guide you through:

    • Re-story your life from the bright side.

    • Journey from robustness and creativity, through breakpoint,
      and on to restoration of resilience and creativity

    • Become stewards of your own creativity and calling

    • Look deep into the mirror of your own story

    • Honor your past and set intentions for the journey forward

 

I’m sure you can learn much from her.  Please visit her website at http://www.phototours.info/peacewithin.php

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I have heard it from many sources: Bring everything, including all your troubles, into your spiritual practice.  Exclude nothing from your conversation with Source energy. Bring everything to the Divine, laying it at the feet of God. 

Here are some ways to bring everything into your spiritual practice:

  1. In prayer, tell God what is troubling you.  Lay bare your feelings, your worries, your anxieties. Feel the feelings. Describe them in minute detail.   Then ask for guidance and wait.  Wait for the Divine message.  Be open to whatever comes to you, whether it be a feeling, a vision, an intuition or a voice.  A friend shared with me that he once had trouble forgiving someone for snubbing him - a relatively minor infraction, but it was mushrooming into a BIG DEAL as he ruminated about it in his mind.  He included the situation in his meditation, asking God for help and a new perspective on the situation.  He had a visualization in which God guided his mind up to the highest reaches of heaven and said, "Now, what is your perspective on this situation?" My friend laughed at God’s sense of humor - of course, this incident seemed small and insignificant from the viewpoint of heaven.  He immediately felt overcome with peace and tranquility toward the person who snubbed him.
  2. In meditation, bring to mind the situation that you are concerned about.  Again, lay bare your feelings, worries and anxieties. You might imagine going deep into your feelings and mental interpretations about the situation, like going into the eye of a hurricane.  Then imagine the storm quickly passing and all that remains are some soft, fluffy clouds against a blue sky.  The clouds represent your feelings and interpretations.  Watch them float away from sight.  You may see the clouds disperse, breaking up into clumps of water molecules.  Notice if you feel the grip of your emotions lessen a bit.
  3. In visualization, imagine bundling up all your worries and concerns into a black trash bag.  Stuff them in very tightly, then close the bag with a knot.  Imagine sending the bag down into the middle of the earth, where it is so hot that everything turns to molten lava.  Because your worries are so toxic, they ignite in the fire of the earth’s center, burning off the charge of negative emotions.  Then, bring the fire of pure energy back up and into your body, where it now purifies your heart, mind and spirit.
  4. Again, visualize stuffing all your worries and troubles into a black trash bag.  Close it up very tightly and put a knot in the mouth of the bag.  Then imagine yourself kneeling in front of God and laying the bag of twisted troubles at God’s feet.  Leave it there.

These thoughts focus on troubling aspects of our lives.  It is natural for us to turn to our Higher Power for comfort when we we struggle with life. 

A practice of bringing gratitude to God is also rewarding.  The wonderful thing about gratitude is that it highlights the many wondrous, albeit small, blessings we observe in our lives.  By noticing and thanking Source for these things, we double our blessings: once for the blessing itself and twice in recalling it. I count my blessings in my journal most mornings.  I put a star beside them, which reminds me of my first grade teacher affixing gold stars to my papers. It makes me feel good to notice my blessings.  Yes, it gives me a sense of accomplishment, but more than that, a sense of awe that the Divine has kissed me, as it were, with blessings.

Bring everything into your spiritual practice.

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Take Pride in Your Job

Sep-16-2008 By krisrob02

clip_image002It was late Friday night at O’Hare airport in Chicago. The plane was a little delayed and all the passengers were tired, crabby and eager to go home, including me. As we entered the aircraft, we were greeted by the first class flight attendant, who had a personality that filled the aircraft! “Welcome aboard, and how are you doing tonight?” he would ask each person as they boarded. I took my seat in first class, delighted that I could observe this flight attendant take command of his aircraft, greet each passenger personally and welcome them onto his flight. When a young mother with a crying toddler came on, he greeted the young girl with, “Honey, it’s your lucky day – you get to fly on my airplane tonight!” As we pulled away from the gate, he continued his banter during the safety briefing announcements, making jokes and wisecracks, and encouraging the other flight attendants to do the same. I was surprised, amused and impressed with this unusual behavior.

I have noticed that since 9/11, flight attendants and other customer-facing employees at this and other major carriers are demoralized, de-motivated and tired. They have faced salary cuts, longer working hours and higher stress, due to the established possibility of terrorism in the skies. They feel stuck in their jobs, victims of a seniority system that makes it impossible to take a new job with another carrier. All of this made the performance of the flight attendant that Friday night unusual and noteworthy.

What was remarkable was how much pride, energy and ownership he put into his job. I come across people from all levels in the org chart who are in similar employment situations to this flight attendant. Because of the economy and the current job shortage, many people today feel stuck and unappreciated in their jobs. In fact, according to Talent Smart, only 15% of all workers, including managers and executives, feel respected and appreciated in their jobs.[1] Rather than complain about a less-than-perfect job situation, it is the responsibility of each worker, from the CEO down to the lowest-paid employee, to take pride in their job and do it to the best of their abilities.

How can you take pride in your job? Here are a few suggestions:

  • Decide to give it 110%: What your mother told you is true: if a job is worth doing, it is worth doing right. Do it to the best of your ability. Own your job output and put your good name on it. You don’t have to love your boss, have the perfect co-workers or the best working conditions to take pride in your work and go the extra mile to ensure high quality results. Notice, however, that we are talking 110%, not 200% percent. I meet many over-achieving executives who have exhausted themselves trying to be all things to all people in a difficult environment. Pace yourself, set priorities, identify the areas that you can exert the most influence and delegate or defer the rest.
  • Exert control over what you can: You may not have control over all aspects of your job, but you can identify areas that you do control and focus on them. The flight attendant had control over the airplanes he flew, and he focused on how he could influence the atmosphere of that environment. You may not be able to influence the performance targets the Vice President sets, for example, but if you are a manager or director, you do have control over how you communicate them to your workgroup. Concentrate on supporting your group so they can do the best work possible. Then try to let go of the need to control what you cannot.
  • Make it fun: We spend too much time at work not to have a little fun at it! The flight attendant customized his safety announcements, using his own talents, to make it fun. Although not everyone is a comedian, we each have a unique approach to humor and having fun. How can you give your co-workers a smile and make their day? How can you lighten up your workplace?
  • Speak and act positively toward co-workers: If you change your attitude and behavior, often other people will change, too. Sometimes people get locked into a negative relationship with a co-worker or manager because of personality differences, miscommunications, annoying personal habits or past affronts. If you find your self in this position and the other person is basically an OK person - not a bully and not acting illegally or unethically - try this experiment for two weeks and see if it makes a difference: Speak and act only positively to that person. Compliment the person when it is warranted. Notice the good things they do. Support them in their job. Do not speak disparagingly about that person to anyone, including your spouse or partner. If you are able to do this for just two weeks, it is highly likely that you will notice that the other person responds in kind, and that you have repaired the situation. The result: a happier, less stressed YOU.
  • Practice extreme self-care: If you are in a high-stress job, take good care of yourself. Self-care is highly individual and dependent on life stage, financial resources and time constraints. Seek ways to manage your stress and balance your energies in ways that make sense for your situation. Simple self-care can include taking time to walk outside at lunchtime, talking to a good friend and having an active social life. Self-care might also include massages, regular exercise, and, ironically, community service. Community service can broaden your perspective by getting you out of your normal environment and can fulfill the human need to serve others.

If successful in applying some of these guidelines, an amazing thing may happen: You may find that by changing YOUR attitude toward work, the work atmosphere changes. Take a lesson from the flight attendant, and you may find that the job you thought was less than perfect is actually pretty darn good!


[1] Travis Bradberry and Jean Greaves, “The Emotional Intelligence Quick Book”

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Creative Doubt

Sep-12-2008 By krisrob02

"True faith can only grow and mature if it includes the elements of paradox and creative doubt," says Anglican priest Kenneth Leech in True God. Paradox and creative doubt - it is so nice to know that other seekers find their spiritual path littered with these nettlesome thoughts. True faith cannot be blind or unquestioning, or it wouldn’t be true to the inquisitiveness of the human spirit. True faith must be fired in the oven of critical thinking, vexing emotions and life experiences.  Only by those means does a faith gain strength.

Creative doubt - I love that term because it is so positive.  If you allow your doubt to become creative, it is not destructive, it is constructive. Or, it destroys in order to build something beautiful and vibrant.

One of my friends experiences the concept of creative doubt as two voices, embodied by the image of a positive person on her left shoulder (the "white knight" in my parlance) and the image of a negative person on her right shoulder (the "black knight"), both whispering in her ears.  As soon as I heard her explanation, my thoughts went back to a time when a counselor encouraged me to explore those two voices in me.  I could relate totally.  Here is what creative doubt about my spiritual path, as embodied by the black knight and the white knight, might whisper in my ears:

Black knight says: White knight says:
"This spirituality stuff is stupid." "This spirituality stuff is fun!"
"I can’t swallow this." "I can swallow this whole - all of it."
"The Holy One is absent in my life. Where is God when I am in need?" "Oh Holy One, I can feel your presence."
"You are silly for thinking God is active in your life." "I know with every fiber of my being that God
is active in my life."
"I am not worthy of knowing the Divine." "I am brilliant beyond measure and can sense
the Divine’s messages to me."

So, what do we do with creative doubt?  We examine the black knight’s thoughts to reveal some truth about our faith, to help us refine our thoughts and approach, and to help us understand how others less sure-footed on their path might feel.  We thank the black knight and tell it, "Thank you for your opinions. I have gotten as much benefit from them as possible. Now go home, you are no longer welcome here."  Then we shine a bright light on the expressions of the white knight.  We turn to the white knight and invite it into our home - to linger for a glass of wine, a good meal and long conversation.

How do you experience creative doubt?

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Practice Seeing the Grace of God

Sep-4-2008 By krisrob02

"It takes practice to see the grace of God in everyday life," says Marjorie J. Thompson in her book, "Soul Feast".  By noticing the Holy One’s hand in our lives, we count our blessings. And - I swear this is true in my life - by noticing the wondrous synchroncities we are blessed with, we increase their frequency.  It is as if heaven delights in our gratitude and wants to send us more blessings.  Or perhaps it is just that we become attuned to recognizing the grace of God in ever smaller ways.

It seems that when I least expect it, I sense the presence of the Divine in my life.  I might feel a tingle on my chin - a sure sign that angels or the Holy One is seeking my attention - or I might receive an email or phone call that just seems too perfect, too divinely timed to be entirely of this world.  It is then that I know that I experience the grace of God.  Even when I feel like I’m not paying enough attention to my relationship with God, I’ll notice or feel or sense something that I just know comes from the Divine.

Sometimes it is quite dramatic.  Yesterday, I was a little discouraged with my work - experiencing writer’s block and feeling overwhelmed with a number of half-finished projects. So I went to the gym at lunchtime to get some endorphins flowing and started my usual workout on the elliptical machine.  I was trying to read a magazine to divert my mind, when all of a sudden, I felt a presence.  I looked up from the magazine, out the window to the trees, and suddenly I had an inner knowingness that I was being spoken to. The Divine message I received was this: "I have gotten you this far, so how could I abandon you now? I will bring you everything you need. You need only give up your burdens and worries to me. Remember the passage from Jeremiah 29:11: For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." 

I started to weep right there on the elliptical machine at the gym.  I felt so loved, surrounded and supported by the love of God.  And then I felt stupid - getting all choked up at the gym! Get a grip, girl! I bit my lip to stop the tears and finished my workout. I walked out of the gym a changed woman - with a smile on my face and a lightness in my step.

How can you practice recognizing the grace of God in your life?  Here are three questions that you can ask yourself at bedtime as you examine your day.

  • How did the Divine work in my life today? 
  • When was I the recipient of God’s grace today? 
  • What am I grateful for today? 

You can answer the questions in your journal, talk to someone about them, incorporate the questions into your evening prayers or just think about them as you prepare for bedtime.  Of course, God doesn’t send just cheery, hippy-skippy messages to us all the time.  We also receive challenges through divine messengers. Consider the message in your challenges - what is it that I need to learn in this situation?  Is there another perspective that I can adopt here to see this differently?  Where is the miracle in this situation?

By noticing, we are blessed.

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