The Everyday Mystic

Incorporating Spiritual Practices into Everyday Life

Archive for October, 2008

How to Choose Love over Fear

Oct-29-2008 By krisrob02

In my last post, I made some suggestions for acting in love during the current economic crisis.  I’d like to expand the discussion and create a more comprehensive list of tips for shifting to love when you feel fear gaining hold in your mind, spirit or body.

First, the fear/love choice is like this famous optical illusion - if you look hard at the picture of your life, you see the young lady but if you soft focus your gaze you see another image, the old lady. The same can be said about fear and love.  When faced with a difficult situation, our brain will glom onto the first perspective it can grasp (usually fear), but if we consciously look for another perspective, we can find it. 

Here are some suggestions for choosing love:

  • The heavenly perspective.  I’ve already blogged about it, and it is my personal favorite this month. Let me know how it works for you!
  • Take time to meditate and pray each day.  My friend Mariel writes down a verse from scripture or from some other inspiring source and keeps that small piece of paper in her pocket all day to remind her of the divine love that continually surrounds her.
  • Practice gratitude.  Keep a gratitude journal.  Notice and appreciate all the little things to be grateful for in your life.
  • Notice synchronicities or God’s grace in your life.  They happen all the time.  For example, yesterday, I was racing out of the office for an appointment, and when I picked up my purse, a small voice immediately reminded me that my wallet was in another room.  I snatched my wallet and ran out the door, thanking the angel that prevented me from forgetting a very important item.
  • Silently bless the people you encounter during the day.  Pray for people you are about to meet with or work with.  Notice how that practice affects the quality of your interaction with that person.

There are so many more ideas.  I open it up to your comments and suggestions.  How do you choose love instead of fear?

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A Course in Miracles states that there are only two emotions, love and fear. All other emotions are derivatives of those basic feelings. Of the two, which emotion have we primarily seen at work in our economy over the past several months? Of course, the answer is fear.

When I worked in the securities industry years ago, we said that markets are driven by fear and greed. Greed is the operative that fuels run-ups in the markets as investors try to make a buck (or a euro, in this global economy). Fear causes sell-offs like the stunning one we’ve seen in the markets over the past month.

Recently, I’ve heard people speak fearfully about their diminished investment accounts and 401k’s. I’ve heard people express fear about the security of their jobs. I even heard one friend express concern about the balance in her child’s school PTA bank account, which was approaching the $100,000 limit of the FDIC insurance.

Fear is a normal reaction to what’s happening to us. Fear has its good side – it can make us more vigilant and more careful about our money, which is not a bad thing. But fear can paralyze us and cloud our thinking. I can’t tell you how many people have told me they are about to cash out all their holdings. I admit to thinking about it now and again – wouldn’t cash be safe! This is a normal, fear-based reaction, but is not a wise or prudent action. Selling now would be counter to the market’s basic rule of buy low, sell high. Selling now is selling low.

So, how can we choose love at this time?

First, we need to remember several spiritual laws. The first is “As within, so without”, which means what you think about, comes about. The Bible expresses this as “So a man thinketh in his heart, so he is.” In other words, if you believe that this is a disaster, it will be so. The second is “Within chaos comes opportunity.” We know this to be true in our own spiritual development - a crisis such as a divorce, serious illness or death of a loved one causes short-term chaos but can initiate tremendous inner growth in the long term.

If you are fearful about being laid off at work or about business in general, here’s what you can do to replace fear with love:

  • You valiantly choose a positive outlook as you walk in the door, refraining from gossiping or speculating at the water cooler (or via IM) about who’s going to get the ax and how bad it is at the office.
  • You look for more ways to make your boss look good.
  • You immediately revive your professional network both within and external to the company, taking time to go to lunch with others, catching up with people who you haven’t seen in months and listening for opportunities.
  • You apply for jobs, perhaps even ones that are beneath your current abilities, but that could parlay into a better one in the future.
  • You check your internal thoughts several times a day to make sure that you are clear within so that you send “good vibes” out to others, knowing that the energy will be returned to you.
  • You look for the good in every situation, and express love in the form of appreciation, respect and integrity at work.

Choosing love also means to look for the opportunity in the downturn. Sandra Yancey, CEO of eWomenNetwork, says that recessions are great times to buy whatever you need, “because everything is on sale!” Warren Buffet said the same thing about stocks last week in an opinion piece in the New York Times entitled, “Buy American. I am.” Buffet related that in his personal investment account, he is buying up solid American stocks because he believes that they are cheap now and will appreciate in the long term. My colleague, Jean Keener, of Keener Financial Planning, has this sound advice: “Recessions have historically been fantastic buying opportunities. If you’ve got cash in hand that you won’t need for at least 5-10 years, this could be a rare opportunity to be brave and benefit financially in the long-term.”

In what other ways can you choose love by looking for the opportunity in the downturn? Think like a contrarian! Think about starting a business or going back to school. Look for side businesses that are recession-proof. At the grocery store last week, I stopped by a wine-tasting display where the woman behind the table proclaimed wine a recession-proof business. I guess we  need to drink more now than in good times! How can you find a recession-proof business like wine?

As for me, I’m doing some major contrarian thinking. I’m starting a new business, based on spiritual intelligence, in a recession! Crazy! So here is my vision: In this tough time, I picture myself planting seeds that need watering, weeding and fertilizing before I can harvest the fruits of my labor. Most of the seeds will bear fruit when the economy revives, but I leave room in that vision for some seeds to germinate and mature overnight like Jack’s beanstalk in the fairy tale.

Even if you know that keeping a positive frame of mind is good for you, it’s easy to fall into fear during these uncertain times. Click here for a quick visualization exercise that you can do to gain perspective and loosen fear’s grip.

For your own happiness, choose love. For the betterment of your career, choose love. Because life is short, choose love.

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Put a Stop to Labeling

Oct-23-2008 By krisrob02

The human brain is wired to instantly categorize everything we perceive.  This is a good thing in life threatening situations, as when you are about to step on a coiled rattlesnake on the ground and your brain calls out an immediate "Freeze!" warning to all muscles.  Other times, however, that instant categorization mechanism that says "coiled snake-like object on ground equals danger!" can trip you up.  What if the snake turns out to be a harmless garden hose?  Your brain has sent a danger signal to your body for no reason.  As you reach higher stages of emotional, moral and spiritual development, you need to check the brain’s instinctual tendency to label items or people as "good" or "bad", "safe" or "dangerous", "us" or "them".  As a planet, we need to put a stop to labeling by using our higher spiritual powers.

This requires an evolution from duality thinking to "both/and" thinking.  The instinctual part of the brain will continue to instantly categorize things but it is up to the executive function of the brain to translate those black and white judgments into inclusive, non-judgmental and holistic viewpoint. Once this translation is complete, the individual can now act in a considered, inclusive way. It looks like this:

end of labeling

Step three is critical.  This is where the person’s vigilant "observer mind" catches itself doing its normal categorizing.  "Oops," says the observer mind, "Let’s not go there.  What other perspective or viewpoint could I take that is more spiritually mature?" The brain reconsiders, assuming a broader, whole-cosmos perspective, and then chooses the best reaction to the stimulus.  A good way to help your brain assume this whole-cosmos perspective is outlined in a previous post on the heavenly perspective.

This process goes slowly at first, as you engage the observer mind more actively. This requires will and perseverance to train your mind to catch itself as it jumps to conclusions that may not serve your highest truth.  Persevere! Keep at it!  There are precious rewards, such as increased love, compassion and inner peace, in making progress toward retraining your brain.

This is what the process looks like when you have made progress in re-training your brain to stop labeling:

end of labeling2

The brain takes the high road, so to speak, and bounces lightly into the categorizing and labeling stages but quickly advances to the inclusive thinking. 

You might even get so advanced as to skip steps two and three altogether.  Bravo to you if you are here in your reactions:

end of labeling3

Here are some labels that I’d like to adopt a more inclusive, whole-cosmos perspective of:

Christian vs. Muslim
Theist vs. Atheist
Republican vs. Democrat
Rich vs. Poor
Managers vs. Employees
Man vs. Woman
Straight vs. Gay
Good vs. Evil

I propose that, instead of labeling, we start thinking of all people as simply "children of God", "the Divine’s people" or "souls on a journey together".  Easier said than done, huh?

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The Heavenly Perspective

Oct-19-2008 By krisrob02

It’s a jungle out there right now.  The world economy is a mess, people are fearful for their jobs, and great amounts of wealth have been obliterated with the capital market’s implosion. It’s so easy to get sucked into fearful thinking. Want to be happy instead of worried?  When I’m down in the dumps, I use a special visualization to literally pull me up and out of it.  It’s my delight to share it with you here:

Sit comfortably in a chair. Imagine your worst fears: your 401k that’s in the tank, having to delay retirement so you can revive your investment portfolio, losing your job, etc. Picture a scene that represents the fears you are grappling with and picture yourself in the scene. For example, you might imagine yourself with your head in your heads as you review your stock portfolio.  Once you get a clear picture of your scene, make a clone of your spirit and assign it the job of “observer”. Imagine your observer spirit fly up to the rooftop to view this scene with its x-ray vision. What do you observe from the rooftop?

Now send your spirit up to the clouds and have it view the scene with you in it. What does your spirit observe from the clouds?

Now send your spirit up to the moon and have it view the scene with you in it. What does your spirit observe from the moon?

Now send your spirit up to heaven, where it can perceive all of the cosmos. Ask your spirit to view the scene back on earth. Then, tell your spirit to consult with a Divine entity (you might call it God, Goddess, Allah or others) to determine if there is a Divine meaning to what is going on in the scene on earth. What does your spirit tell you from heaven?

Come back to earth and slowly open your eyes.  Breathe deeply.

Did this change your perspective?  I always see my problems in a new light after doing this exercise. Coming back from heaven, I feel surrounded by the love of God and all angels.  What power can fear possibly have over me now?

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Divine Within and Divine Without

Oct-17-2008 By krisrob02

People of all times and places have had, and currently have, different views of the Divine.  Some conceive of a male God, sitting in heaven, making divine plans for all of the universe.  Others think of an amorphous Being who, having created the universe, now sits benignly by, watching the universe operate, perhaps according to Divine law or not.  Others may believe in a female Goddess, or multiple divine beings.  Or the Divine as a non-gendered force.  Within the multiplicity of Divine concepts and the wondrous variety in beliefs, there is an underlying theme to explore, which is the Divine Within and the Divine Without.  In other words, is your Divine living within you, or external to you?

The Divine Within is the deep stillness within each of us, accessible when we listen to our intuition, when we pay attention to the synchronicities in life, when we are in meditation or in centering prayer.  It is the true self’s voice within us that demonstrates positive virtues such as faith, hope, compassion and love.  It can be fierce when needed, but the Divine Within is pure and untainted by the ego’s demands. 

The Divine Without is the force of the universe that binds everything together.  It is the mastermind of the cosmos, the creator of us all, the ground of our being.  We can pray to an external God and receive comfort and support.  We might even expect this being or power to intervene on our behalf, as when we pray for healing.

Some scholars believe that this is the dividing line between different faith traditions, and that people usually believe one or the other.  Instead of drawing a line between them, I’d like to suggest a "both/and", perhaps paradoxical, perspective.  The Divine is both within and without.  When you think of the zero point field - the minute but ubiquitous energy that can be measured in a vacuum container in which the temperature has been reduced to absolute zero - it is both within and without.  It is within, because our bodies are made of matter that can be viewed at the sub-atomic level, where this zero point field is active. And, it is without, because all of the universe contains this energy.  So we are all connected at both the lowest and highest levels of conceivable thought.  We can listen to the Divine Within, to our truest self’s voice, and we can pray to the Divine Without, knowing that there is an energy that courses through all of creation.

So, I continue to pray and to meditate. I pray to the external, connective force that I perceive as Divine Without, and I meditate to connect with the Divine Within.  And yet, both concepts get mixed up inside me, producing something that is one and the same. If I soften my gaze at this subject, the duality becomes a unity. The Divine Without is actually the Divine Within, and the Divine Within manifests also as the Divine Without- they only appear to be different from my limited, humanly point of view.

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Mini-Peak Moments

Oct-14-2008 By krisrob02

There are moments in life when everything is beautiful and sweet.  An old commercial called these "Kodak moments" - those moments that you want to capture, bottling the sweet zest of the moment so you can remember it forever. If you are living with your eyes, ears and hearts open, these are the moments when you recognize your blessings from God.  Watching for and noticing mini-peak moments help you live consciously in the light of God’s love.

I had several such moments recently, both involving my teenaged children.  I recently returned from a week-long business trip to Europe.  During a long-distance call home that week, my daughter asked me if I could attend her high school’s Friday night football game to bring her and three friends from the marching band home early so they could be rested for the SAT test the next morning. (Usually, the band stays for the entire game and returns to the high school late that night in buses.) Flattered to be asked, I of course agreed, with the understanding that I was coming home from Europe late that afternoon and my plane could be delayed. My plane was on time (a cause for deep gratitude) and, not being much of a football fan, I showed up to the game about 45 minutes late so I could watch the band’s half-time show and then leave with the girls. I sat next to the band’s now empty place in the bleachers, as the band had already started gathering on the field for its show. I hadn’t seen my daughter for almost a week, and as the band members moved past my place in the bleachers, she called out to me and waved. It’s difficult to discern individual members of the band when they are in uniform, so my memory is of her shining, smiling face lit up like a ray of sunshine piercing a cloud of blue uniforms. My heart leapt. I felt blessed and happy.

Another mini-peak moment occurred this weekend when I drove my son, who was home from college for the first time, back to his school. I had given him a small pumpkin as a seasonal decoration for his dormitory room, and as we were saying good-bye, we realized that he’d left the pumpkin in the car. He accompanied me back to the car to retrieve his pumpkin, and then, instead of walking back to his dorm, he stood on the sidewalk watching and waiting for me to start the car and drive away.  I looked back and saw him there on the sidewalk, holding the pumpkin, waiting.  My heart leapt. I drove by him, rolling down the window so we could exchange a final good-bye.

Peak moments can be life-changing, re-directing your focus or inspiring a new realization.  Mini-peak moments are not necessarily life-changing, but they are life-affirming. Mini-peak moments are the ordinary, everyday blessings that we notice and cherish for their expressions of love.

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Falling in Love Everyday

Oct-3-2008 By krisrob02

"I propose we fall in love several times a day for the rest of our lives," writes Matthew Fox. "…You could fall in love with fish and plants, animals, and birds, and with people, especially those who are different from us."

I read that quotation, and immediately began to ponder how I could fall in love multiple times a day, and what I would fall in love with.  I considered my dog, my family, the sunlight on the tile floor, the activity of writing, a phone call, the smile of a friend, a friendly or encouraging email, the singing bowl in my office.

How does falling in love differ from gratitude or appreciation?  It seems like they are all close cousins in the family of spiritual virtues. "Falling in love" implies something that comes from a deeper part of our hearts and, indeed, involves our whole body: nerves, hormones, neurons in the brain, tingles all over.  It is a visceral feeling. Falling in love is complete immersion, if only for a moment, in the perfection of the object of your affections.  It is adolescent yearning, innocent yet covered with acne, stupid love in the moment.  It is abandonment to beauty.

I want to fall in love that way everyday!

Mother/Father God, how can I fall in love with you daily?  You are no object, except of my desires.  When I thank you for the daily synchronicities that you bless me with, I shall take time to fall in love with you again. I deeply desire to live a life of falling in love again and again and again with You.

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