The Everyday Mystic

Our hectic lifestyle often leaves little time for contemplation.  I know when I was working a full-time executive job and raising two young kids, days could go by between opportunities for me to meditate, pray or have time by myself.  There are seasons in a life when schedules are full of obligations.  Still, there are ways to sneak in mindfulness moments during busy days.  The benefit of incorporating sacred moments into a full schedule is the sense of calm and peace you will receive despite the demands on your time.

Here are ten quick and easy ways to find time for mindfulness moments everyday:

1.  During the commute, turn off your radio, MP3 player and/or cell phone and instead do one or more of the following: Pray. Sing. Feel the steering wheel in your hands. Smile. Think of five things you are grateful for.

2.  When you get to work, take a few moments in your car to do a brief breathing meditation, observing and counting your breaths from one to ten.  Or, on your walk to your office, walk slowly and coordinate your breathing with your steps.  For example, you might inhale for 2 steps and exhale for 3 steps.  Set a positive intention for the day.

3.  Do the same when you arrive home at night - sit for a moment in the car and do a quick breathing meditation or prayer. Set a positive intention for the evening’s activities.

4.  When the phone rings, take a moment to silently bless the caller.  Then take a deep breath and answer the phone.

5. Take a mindful bathroom break.  Pay attention to the breath while using the toilet.  Breathe deeply and attentively.  Perform a hand-washing ritual in which you consciously wash off the energy of the past moments and clean your hands in preparation for the coming meetings or tasks.  Set a positive intention for the next segment of your day. 

6.  A friend of mine sets her computer to ring mindfulness chimes on the quarter hour.  It reminds her to stop and breath for just moment. You could do the same with a chime on your watch, set to sound on the hour.

7.  Say a silent prayer of thanksgiving before eating lunch.

8.  Take a moment periodically throughout the day to close your eyes, breathe and visualize being in your "happy place".  For me, it’s the beach in Santa Barbara, California.  Use all five senses to imagine that you are there.  This is a great stress reliever, and it only takes a moment to go there in your mind.

9. Before going to sleep, pray. I had a friend who said, "Kristin, I kneel down beside my bed each night and thank the Lord for five things that happened that day. And I pray for those who need God’s love." Set a positive intention for your dreams that night.

10. Upon waking, take several deep breaths.  Say a prayer of gratitude for the new day.  Set a positive intention for the coming day.

So, even if you don’t have time for a formal daily meditation or prayer practice, you can still squeeze sacred moments into a crazy day.  You’ll be glad you did!

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I believe that a soul’s job is to evolve, to learn, to grow in wisdom and maturity.  The soul evolves not only during a single lifetime, but over many lifetimes.  Before incarnating, each soul chooses a life based on the projected challenges – or lack thereof – that a particular life might pose so that the soul has the opportunity to learn the “lessons” it needs to at this point in its maturity.  There is no judgment if the soul does not evolve or fully learn what it needs, just another chance to get it right in a future lifetime.  The soul of a person who has done great harm to others in a lifetime might be given an opportunity to switch places in a future lifetime – to be the victim of another’s aggressions.  Some call this karma. 

Evolution takes place both during a lifetime and over lifetimes.  During this current lifetime, I, Kristin Robertson, reserve the right to evolve in my understanding of all things spiritual, in my understanding of the topics that I discuss in this blog.  In fact, I hope that you are witness to my evolution as I write about my journey.  My most sincere prayer and intention for you is that, by reading about my struggles and thoughts, your evolution is aided, or your courage increases because of the sense that we sojourn together.

This week, one of my spiritual teachers encouraged me to “hear” things from the Universe without an intermediary. Over that past 18 months, I have conversed often in my meditations with my spiritual guides and the souls of loved ones who have passed away.  Now, my teacher encourages me to cut out the “middleman”, so to speak, and just hear my truth directly from Source.  She says that wisdom and information is available to me, just as it is to you, if I and you will only believe that it is so.  Does Source equal God or Goddess?  She would not use those words.

I fervently wish to be able to access wisdom directly.  And, frankly, it scares me to go directly to the Source, but I’m not sure why.  I haven’t meditated since speaking to her – yes, I get discouraged and fall away from my good habits. In fact, I’m a little depressed about my reaction.   My intention is to return to my meditation practice, with some small changes, and share with you what happens as my soul evolves.

Well, let’s all laugh at ourselves – if you’ve read so far, you’re included in this – because of the lack of inherent entertainment value in this blog post.  As Roshi Joan Halifax (www.upaya.org) says, coming to her Zen center and meditating all day might look like it has very low entertainment appeal, but the inner journey is fascinating to those so inclined.  Welcome, fellow sojourner, and blessings for your journey as our souls evolve together.

Prayer:

Infinite Intelligence, bless my spiritual journey. Help me hear and learn what is needed for my soul’s evolution. May my journey give others courage for their own. Amen.

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I am fascinated by the intersection of emotions and spirituality.  I don’t pretend to have all the answers right now, but I know that the ability to control run-away emotions – both positive and negative ones - is vital to keeping us grounded, spiritually centered and in the present moment.  Managing  - not suppressing - emotions is the goal of an Everyday Mystic.

You have probably heard about the fight or flight syndrome which is our automatic response, mediated by our emotional brain, that allows us to react quickly to dangerous situations.  I often tell the story of my sister-in-law who jumped in our swimming pool to save her energetic two-year-old daughter who had just fallen in.  Lisa’s brain did not debate the merits of saving her daughter over ruining her own clothes or hairdo – she just jumped in immediately and pulled my niece to the surface so quickly that they both came up laughing.  That is a perfect example of the spirit of my wonderful sister-in-law, but also of the positive aspect of our fight or flight syndrome. 

The fight or flight syndrome doesn’t serve us as well in most other, modern-day situations, such as those with co-workers, bosses, family members and just the stress of living.  Generally, we don’t have the option of fleeing the scene of a tense encounter with our boss, or of fighting her.  Neither choice is recommended in civilized society. 

Plus, many of the stressors we encounter are generated by our knee-jerk reaction to certain situations.  For example, most of us get stressed if we get a call or email from our boss that simply says, “Please see me now.”  We jump to the worst conclusion and assume that we are getting fired.  Our emotional brain perceives a possible threat and mobilizes the body for its age-old reaction – fight or flight.  Our physical symptoms might include increases in our heart rate, respiration rate and blood pressure, butterflies in our stomach, or weak knees.  Anticipating the worst, we walk into our boss’ office and are surprised and relieved that she only wanted our opinion on a report.

In those stressful situations, it should be our goal to stop the cascade of emotional hormones before it even starts.  This means being able to identify your personal stressful trigger AS IT HAPPENS and catch yourself before your body has a chance to react.  One of the best ways I know how to stop the fight or flight response is a simple breathing exercise.  This came to me from several sources – several whispers from the Universe, so I know that it is true for me – including my yoga teacher, a Harvard Business Review article on stress relief and a fax from a friend.

The breathing exercise is easy: Your inhalation is half the duration of the exhalation.  In other words, you breathe in quickly and fill your lungs completely and exhale slowly.  On the first breath, count to 3 on the inhale, then 6 on the exhale.  On the next breath, elongate it to 4 counts on the inhale and 8 counts on the exhale, then count to 5 and 10. 

I recommend this technique from my own experience.  I often wake up in the middle of the night, panic and then cannot go back to sleep.  If, immediately upon awakening, I breathe in to the count of 4 and breathe out for 8 counts, I can rollover and go right back to sleep.  Another example of the power of this technique is a chief executive of an entertainment company who only lit a cigarette when he was stressed during the day.  He smoked about four times daily, always in response to stressful triggers.  After discovering this breathing technique, he successfully substituted it for his cigarette habit and discovered that what calmed him was the opportunity to inhale and exhale fully and deeply.  He was able to kick the nicotine habit and use the natural power of his breath to calm him.

What are your experiences with this wonderful breathing technique?

Meditation (from Thich Nhat Hanh):

I breathe in, I feel love.

I breathe out, I feel peace.

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“I want my mommy!” is a common cry among young children in distress.  I confess, there have been times in my adult life when I silently but fervently made that same cry. Many of us as adults no longer have our earthly mothers to run to for comfort; many of us never had a mother who could provide all the emotional comfort that we deeply desired.  As adults, we try to find others who can provide us with emotional support; these might be spouses, partners, friends or therapists.  We can also try to provide ourselves with the mother-like support that we need. Self-mothering is the most dependable of all comfort – only self mothering can provide, with pinpoint accuracy, the kind of moment-by-moment support that we need to feel strong and resilient.

Mothering myself has been a goal for me for many years.  If you believe that you are a part of the Divine, then to mother ourselves is to tap into our divine essence and comfort ourselves from that holy point within our souls.

Meditation can help us with that, as well as journaling.  It is important that we find a sense of peace with our earthly mothers, whether they are still alive or not.  It is important that we learn to mother ourselves.  Lastly, we need to recognize that mothering ourselves is a way of activating our connection to Mother/Father God.  The following meditation is meant to guide us to that realization.

Meditation:

Sit comfortably, with back straight and feet on the ground, or on a meditation cushion or bench. Gently close your eyes. Take several deep breaths to relax your body. Quiet your mind by focusing on the breath for several moments. Let go of any tension in the body – relax your stomach, shoulders, leg muscles, even your face.

When you feel centered and relaxed, imagine your earthly mother.  Imagine that she is facing you and you are gazing into each other’s eyes.  From your heart, imagine saying to her, “Mother, I know that you love/loved me the best you can/could. I know that your Divine essence loves me dearly. I love you back the best I can right now.”  Sit with that thought for a moment, sending her the best love you can.  Then, ask her for the support, comfort or understanding that you need right now.  Imagine her providing you exactly what you desire, in words, deeds or energy.  Perhaps you hear her talking to you, or you imagine her embracing or kissing you.  Or you may simply feel her presence.

Now imagine a cloned image of yourself is facing you.  Gaze into your own eyes.  From your heart, say to your cloned image, “I love you dearly.”  Sit with that thought for a moment, sending your cloned imaged the best love you can.  Then, ask yourself for the support, comfort or understanding you need right now.  Imagine yourself providing exactly what you desire.

Now imagine that you are sitting in the lap of the Divine, the Great Mother/Father, who embraces you completely and envelopes you in powerful love.  Snuggle in and stay with this image for a moment.  Then ask the Divine for the support, comfort or understanding you need right now.  Imagine the Divine providing you exactly what you desire, in words, deeds or energy.  Hear, see, feel or sense the abundant love that the Divine so freely gives you. Luxuriate in this moment.

When you have had enough, take a deep breath, open your eyes and smile.  

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Last night, I sat down in my special prayer corner (which is in a large walk-in closet) to meditate. It was late and I was tired, but I really wanted to meditate and pray before bed. Normally, my teenagers are asleep when I meditate, and they know to leave me alone when I’m sitting in my prayer corner, but it’s winter break and they are up much later than usual. Soon after I began, my sixteen-year-old daughter came into the closet, sat down, and said, “Can you talk to me before you start?” Of course, I said yes, knowing that teenagers don’t often ask to spend some time with their parents. She put her head in my lap, which is short-hand in our family for “Please scratch my head”. I scratched her head while we chatted about nothing much. Then the dog came in, parked himself right next to me, looked me in the eye and started whining - another short-hand message for “Please scratch my head”. So, I scratched both my daughter’s and the dog’s head, one with my left hand and the other with my right. Then, my son came in. Sensing a party, he lay down next to his sister, had some choice words with her (they are either fighting or best friends - go figure) and asked to have his head scratched. The dog left because I couldn’t scratch his head any more. The three of us talked for a bit, then the two teenagers left and went to bed.

My meditation time had been usurped by a very special mother-and-kids time. When they were little, I would pray with the kids every night before tucking them into bed. Appropriately, that no longer happens, so when I get a moment with them before bedtime, it is precious. For just a moment after they left me, however, I despaired of ever having a significant spiritual life. Then I realized what a gift I was given - the gift of quality time with my teenagers, of just being together. Because it was very late by that time, I quickly said my intercessory prayers, asked for God’s blessings for the folks on my prayer list, and I went to bed.

When I was in my twenties, I visited an Episcopal priest who happened to be my boyfriend’s sister. She shared a nugget of wisdom that I still remember. She explained that the Christian cross is a symbol for how we can experience God: the vertical or upright bar of the cross represents our direct communication with God, and the horizontal bar represents our interactions with other earthly beings. (Susan Klein, if you are reading, thank you for your inspiration.) Last night, instead of experiencing a direct communication with God through meditation, I experienced Spirit through interaction with my children.

And that is what an Everyday Mystic is all about - appreciating all the blessings we are given, everyday.

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Here is a meditation for Christmas Eve, from my heart to yours:

Sit comfortably, with back straight and feet on the ground, or on a meditation cushion or bench. Gently close your eyes. Take several deep breaths to relax your body. Quiet your mind by focusing on the breath for several moments. Let go of any tension in the body – relax your stomach, shoulders, leg muscles, even your face.

When you feel centered and relaxed, imagine that you are in Bethlehem on a cold winter’s night. You are walking on a dark path from a warm house to the barn that is tucked under the hill in back. In one hand, you carry a lantern that sheds a soft light along your path; in the other hand, you carry a basket of hot food. Carefully, you pick your way down the narrow path to the barn door. As you approach the barn door, you notice that light seeps out around the closed door, telling you that someone is inside. You carefully, quietly open the door and behold the scene in front of you: in a clean stall sits Mary on a bed of straw, cradling her new baby, with Joseph keeping vigil close by. You enter and close the door behind you, and reverently approach the holy family. Bowing low to them, you present them the hot food inside the basket, which they acknowledge with a grateful smile and a nod. You leave them the lantern and the basket, and back away from the family, pausing once to appreciate the scene, then quietly leave.

As you close the barn door, you pause, drawing your coat more closely around you and looking up at the sky. The full moon is surrounded by many stars. You lean against the barn wall, pondering these questions:
• What do I wish to birth into my life at this time?
• What have I labored for, in order to prepare for the coming of something new? What might that new thing be?
• What blessings can I bring into this world?

Linger at the barn door until you hear or know the answers, then gently ascend toward the light of the home on the hill. When you are ready, open your eyes, take a deep breath and smile. You may wish to write down the answers that you received at the barn door.

Prayer: God of many names, bless the world on this Christmas Eve. May we bring our special gifts and talents to the earth, may we bring love and joy into our lives and to those around us. Amen.

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