The Everyday Mystic

In my last post,  we discussed some guidelines for living a spiritually integrated life.  The first guideline is to engage in a daily spiritual practice that suits you.  There are many ways to live spiritually everyday, and I’ll share some of my thoughts on what that can look like.

My daily spiritual practice to write in my journal in the morning and to meditate before I go to bed at night.  I try to do this everyday, but I’ll admit there are are some days, like when I’m sick or traveling or just depressed, that one of the two practices is missed.  However, even if I’m in a blue funk, I’ll substitute getting on my knees at the side of my bed and saying a simple prayer for my meditation, or I’ll read a passage from a spiritual book instead of journaling. My daily practices are my commitment to self-care and the evolution of my soul. Without them, I am not very happy.

Here are some ways to engage in a daily spiritual practice:

Meditation: Experts say that as little as 5-10 minutes of mindfulness meditation, such as observing your breath, repeating a mantra or phrase, or observing an object, is enough to create positive benefits. Meditation has been cited as a way to reduce stress, calm emotions and improve concentration. It is also a way to get below the ego’s realm to your true or divine self. This is one way to commune with the Divine.

Prayer: Some say that prayer is a way to talk to God; meditation is how you can listen to God.  Although I find meditation the best way to connect with Source, prayer can be a way to say what is on your mind, ask for blessings for yourself and others, and set intentions. You can pray and also listen for the still, small voice of God. Praying prepares you to hear it. To pray with the feeling of already having your prayer answered is a good approach to prayer.

Journaling: I write to unload the day’s events and feelings, to set intentions for the coming day, to tease out the truth in my jumbled thoughts and to state my affirmations.  I also write as I listen to my true self (the Divine spark within). I’ll also journal to capture any wisdom heard during meditation.

Contemplative Reading: Normally, we read or skim a newspaper article quickly to glean the important information. To read contemplatively is to read slowly, savoring the words, ruminating about the deeper meaning of a phrase and living with a passage for long periods of time. This type of reading is typically done with sacred texts such as the Bible, the Torah or Koran, but you can apply the technique to poetry or any other reading that is sacred to you, including a daily meditation guide such as Guideposts or the Science of Mind magazine.

Yoga, walking, running: Yoga is a contemplative exercise that focuses the participant on the breath and the body. It calms the mind and spirit.  Walking and running or other forms of exercise can be a sacred activity, too.  Runners and other athletes talk about the spiritual high they get after pushing their bodies past what they thought possible. I find walking, when done mindfully, is a spiritual activity that connects me with nature, my body and the present moment.

Being in nature: Being in nature, whether it is walking or sitting, can make you aware of the connectedness of all things. Its beauty can invoke gratitude and awe. I see God’s hand in nature, inspiring an appreciation in me for the abundance and love that surrounds us always. Others just simply appreciate its wonders. My mother used to sit every night on our back porch, which was really an elevated deck constructed in the trees of our backyard. She would watch the stars, listen to the crickets, the night sounds or just the quiet and commune with God. That was her daily meditation.

Mindfulness: Mindfulness is simply being aware of what you are doing and giving it your entire focus. A sacred practice is to give your children or your spouse your full attention for some part of the day. Walking with an awareness of your feet touching the ground with every step is being mindful. Joyfully focusing on your work to the point of losing track of time (getting in the flow) is mindfulness. Part of my spiritual practice is writing this blog - when I write, I am totally focused and lost in the joy of just writing. Washing the dishes with full concentration on only the dishes is sacred work. I have a friend who enjoys washing her floor - she gets totally engrossed in the act and takes pride in its cleanliness when the job is done.

What are your daily spiritual practices? Whatever they are, it is important that you take time to do one of them every day, for even just 5 minutes! The benefits are many, least of all is the aspect of self-care.  Remember the advice the flight attendants give us on the airplane - put on your oxygen mask first before helping others with their mask.  We must nourish our souls with a daily spiritual practice before seeking to serve others.

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Our hectic lifestyle often leaves little time for contemplation.  I know when I was working a full-time executive job and raising two young kids, days could go by between opportunities for me to meditate, pray or have time by myself.  There are seasons in a life when schedules are full of obligations.  Still, there are ways to sneak in mindfulness moments during busy days.  The benefit of incorporating sacred moments into a full schedule is the sense of calm and peace you will receive despite the demands on your time.

Here are ten quick and easy ways to find time for mindfulness moments everyday:

1.  During the commute, turn off your radio, MP3 player and/or cell phone and instead do one or more of the following: Pray. Sing. Feel the steering wheel in your hands. Smile. Think of five things you are grateful for.

2.  When you get to work, take a few moments in your car to do a brief breathing meditation, observing and counting your breaths from one to ten.  Or, on your walk to your office, walk slowly and coordinate your breathing with your steps.  For example, you might inhale for 2 steps and exhale for 3 steps.  Set a positive intention for the day.

3.  Do the same when you arrive home at night - sit for a moment in the car and do a quick breathing meditation or prayer. Set a positive intention for the evening’s activities.

4.  When the phone rings, take a moment to silently bless the caller.  Then take a deep breath and answer the phone.

5. Take a mindful bathroom break.  Pay attention to the breath while using the toilet.  Breathe deeply and attentively.  Perform a hand-washing ritual in which you consciously wash off the energy of the past moments and clean your hands in preparation for the coming meetings or tasks.  Set a positive intention for the next segment of your day. 

6.  A friend of mine sets her computer to ring mindfulness chimes on the quarter hour.  It reminds her to stop and breath for just moment. You could do the same with a chime on your watch, set to sound on the hour.

7.  Say a silent prayer of thanksgiving before eating lunch.

8.  Take a moment periodically throughout the day to close your eyes, breathe and visualize being in your "happy place".  For me, it’s the beach in Santa Barbara, California.  Use all five senses to imagine that you are there.  This is a great stress reliever, and it only takes a moment to go there in your mind.

9. Before going to sleep, pray. I had a friend who said, "Kristin, I kneel down beside my bed each night and thank the Lord for five things that happened that day. And I pray for those who need God’s love." Set a positive intention for your dreams that night.

10. Upon waking, take several deep breaths.  Say a prayer of gratitude for the new day.  Set a positive intention for the coming day.

So, even if you don’t have time for a formal daily meditation or prayer practice, you can still squeeze sacred moments into a crazy day.  You’ll be glad you did!

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Last weekend, I had heard Peter Mayer’s song called “Holy Now” (you can read the lyrics by searching on “holy now” at  http://www.petermayer.net/music/). In the song, he relates that when he was a boy, he went to church to experience the holy or to hear about long-ago miracles.  Today, his view of the holy includes everyday life – the lyrics tell us that “Everything is holy now” and “Everything’s a miracle.”

I was driving to Houston yesterday to speak to a technical services industry group there.  It’s a long drive from where I live, so I had a good opportunity to be with myself. I got to thinking about Peter Mayer’s song.  I contemplated how one could live in a way that allows one to see that everything is holy and everything is a miracle.  It’s a mind-set of living in a state of constant grace, I decided.  Hmm, there’s a weird concept - grace.  Grace to me is feeling like you are being cuddled in the arms of the Divine – pure safety, pure love, feeling like the universe sends you the gift of pure acceptance of whoever you are.  Living in a state of grace allows me to feel that everything is holy now. 

“So how do you live in a state of grace?” I asked myself.  There are two spiritual skills that help me live in an “everything is holy now” mindset.  The first is gratitude and the second is perspective. 

Living in a State of Grace: Gratitude

Gratitude, in the form of appreciating the little things in life, is vital to living in the moment.  Gratitude helps you love what you’ve got right now, not what you’d rather have.  I found gratitude yesterday in my car to Houston – gratitude for the sun, gratitude for the opportunity to speak to a wonderful group of people, gratitude to be living this life of mine. Today, I walk around my home taking mental pictures of scenes I’m grateful for – oh, there’s the sweet dog lying on the stairs, the morning sun dances on the tile floor, the cup of aromatic tea makes me smile.

Appreciating those around you is another aspect of gratitude.  In my family, we constantly tell each other “I love you”.  My teenage daughter was sick last night, and I took advantage of the opportunity to appreciate her.  If you know anything about teenagers, you know that the only time they are really glad to be “loved on” by their momma is when they are sick.  I sat at her bedside, stroking her hair.  I told her how much I loved her, how proud of her I was for the person she’s becoming and the choices she’s made.  I told her I’d sit there until her body twitched, which is the sure sign that she’s asleep.  Then I quietly crept away, knowing she was getting the rest she needed.

Perspective

The second skill is perspective, which I use for want of a better word.  Perspective helps you step out of the emotional grit of the moment and attempt to see a broader view.  Several ways to gain perspective are helpful to me.  One is to search for the lesson in the situation, as in, “What opportunity for growth or better understanding does this provide me?” Many times, the lesson for me is to learn to apply a broader perspective more quickly! Another way to gain perspective is to look for the good, especially the future good, in the situation.  My son was recently sick and the doctor prescribed a drug that could help him.  My first reaction was, “Why does my son have to suffer?”  My second reaction, the one that sought the good in the situation, was, “This is perfect.  Now he has a drug he can use when he encounters this again. He is empowered to help himself.”  I had to choose this perspective, but I’m really glad I did.  Another way to gain perspective is to realize that you are not the only one who has ever experienced the situation.  Applying this to my son’s situation sounds like this: “A lot of people take this drug and find it helps them lead productive, empowered lives.”

Gratitude and perspective help us live our lives as if “everything is holy now”.  My goal is to live that way every day.

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I am fascinated by the intersection of emotions and spirituality.  I don’t pretend to have all the answers right now, but I know that the ability to control run-away emotions – both positive and negative ones - is vital to keeping us grounded, spiritually centered and in the present moment.  Managing  - not suppressing - emotions is the goal of an Everyday Mystic.

You have probably heard about the fight or flight syndrome which is our automatic response, mediated by our emotional brain, that allows us to react quickly to dangerous situations.  I often tell the story of my sister-in-law who jumped in our swimming pool to save her energetic two-year-old daughter who had just fallen in.  Lisa’s brain did not debate the merits of saving her daughter over ruining her own clothes or hairdo – she just jumped in immediately and pulled my niece to the surface so quickly that they both came up laughing.  That is a perfect example of the spirit of my wonderful sister-in-law, but also of the positive aspect of our fight or flight syndrome. 

The fight or flight syndrome doesn’t serve us as well in most other, modern-day situations, such as those with co-workers, bosses, family members and just the stress of living.  Generally, we don’t have the option of fleeing the scene of a tense encounter with our boss, or of fighting her.  Neither choice is recommended in civilized society. 

Plus, many of the stressors we encounter are generated by our knee-jerk reaction to certain situations.  For example, most of us get stressed if we get a call or email from our boss that simply says, “Please see me now.”  We jump to the worst conclusion and assume that we are getting fired.  Our emotional brain perceives a possible threat and mobilizes the body for its age-old reaction – fight or flight.  Our physical symptoms might include increases in our heart rate, respiration rate and blood pressure, butterflies in our stomach, or weak knees.  Anticipating the worst, we walk into our boss’ office and are surprised and relieved that she only wanted our opinion on a report.

In those stressful situations, it should be our goal to stop the cascade of emotional hormones before it even starts.  This means being able to identify your personal stressful trigger AS IT HAPPENS and catch yourself before your body has a chance to react.  One of the best ways I know how to stop the fight or flight response is a simple breathing exercise.  This came to me from several sources – several whispers from the Universe, so I know that it is true for me – including my yoga teacher, a Harvard Business Review article on stress relief and a fax from a friend.

The breathing exercise is easy: Your inhalation is half the duration of the exhalation.  In other words, you breathe in quickly and fill your lungs completely and exhale slowly.  On the first breath, count to 3 on the inhale, then 6 on the exhale.  On the next breath, elongate it to 4 counts on the inhale and 8 counts on the exhale, then count to 5 and 10. 

I recommend this technique from my own experience.  I often wake up in the middle of the night, panic and then cannot go back to sleep.  If, immediately upon awakening, I breathe in to the count of 4 and breathe out for 8 counts, I can rollover and go right back to sleep.  Another example of the power of this technique is a chief executive of an entertainment company who only lit a cigarette when he was stressed during the day.  He smoked about four times daily, always in response to stressful triggers.  After discovering this breathing technique, he successfully substituted it for his cigarette habit and discovered that what calmed him was the opportunity to inhale and exhale fully and deeply.  He was able to kick the nicotine habit and use the natural power of his breath to calm him.

What are your experiences with this wonderful breathing technique?

Meditation (from Thich Nhat Hanh):

I breathe in, I feel love.

I breathe out, I feel peace.

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Recently, I read the book called “The Intention Experiment” by Lynne McTaggert.  It’s a fascinating, if dense, review of current research (a lot of which is controversial) into the nature of thought, healing, intention and prayer.  Although McTaggert has a different view of prayer than I do (I’ll comment on that later), I agree with her statement that “We can no longer view our… thoughts as the private, self-contained workings of an individual brain. Dozens of scientists have produced thousands of papers… offering sound evidence that thoughts are capable of profoundly affecting all aspects of our lives.” (p.194)

What a profound statement – our thoughts, negative or positive, are not at all private because they create energy.  She suggests that our thoughts are communicated through what quantum physicists call the Zero Point Field or the vacuum.  The Zero Point Field is that which remains when a container is emptied of all matter and is brought to a temperature of absolute zero, an extremely frigid temperature at which no energy should be perceptible.  Yet, there is a huge amount of minute oscillations that scientists are beginning to measure and study.  The Zero Point Field appears to be an active communication medium even in situations in which no electromagnetic energy can penetrate – it is all pervasive and ever present.  Kinda like God.  Indeed, the Zero Point Field may be the communication medium of the spirit world (my words).

Where I disagree with McTaggert is in her definition of the difference between intention and prayer.  She says, “With intention, the agent of change is human; with prayer it is God.”  I believe that God is immanent, meaning God is the spark of divinity that resides within each of us; God is the essence of our best self, our highest or true self.  Therefore, if we make intentions from our true self, intentions are of God and the line between prayer and intention cannot be drawn.  I do concede that human intentions may not originate from our highest self; they may arise from the less-than-altruistic thoughts we may have.  Those are not prayers, but curses – against ourselves and against others.

The challenge is to be aware of our thoughts as much as possible.  It is a call to mindfulness, a call to vigilance in thinking thoughts that are worthy of being heard by everyone around you.  After all, on an energetic level, your thoughts are shared and have impact on both you and others, whether you like it or not.

We’ll talk in later posts about how to cancel negative thoughts and how to substitute positive ones. 

Prayer:

Pervasive and Immanent One, help us to be aware of our thoughts moment by moment, everyday.  Amen.

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I had a funny experience tonight as I drove home from my prayer group’s meeting. As I listened to music on the radio, I intermittently heard a woman’s voice saying something I couldn’t quite discern.  I admit I was in a receptive state of mind, having just discussed with my prayer group how God conveys messages to us.  After hearing the strange woman’s voice a second time, I entertained the notion that the voice I heard was God or an angel talking to me! In an instant, I thought, “Wouldn’t it be cool if God/Goddess was speaking to me through the radio?  Wow - I could receive direct communications from the Divine just by getting in the car!  And isn’t it cool that it is a woman’s voice!” 

You can imagine how I laughed at myself when I discovered the source of the woman’s voice was the new GPS (global positioning system) navigation unit that my husband gave me for Christmas that I had hidden in the glove compartment of my car!  I was more than a little disappointed that my imagined “voice of God” turned out to be the computerized voice of the navigation unit!

It got me thinking about direct communications from the Divine.  As mystics, we need to consider how we receive communication from the Source. There are many ways that we can discern God’s messages, but the manner I’d like to touch on here is what my friend Tim calls “whispers from the universe.” Whispers from the universe are synchronicities that have a bit of an eerie or surreal feel to them (at least for me).  It might be a phone call from someone you were just thinking about, or a piece of information that comes up in casual conversation, or hearing about a book from two people within a few days. 

One example of this in my life is this blog.  I knew that I wanted to write about my spiritual journey and perhaps publish it someday, but wasn’t sure how to get started.  Somehow, the idea of a blog germinated in my brain, and I experienced several whispers from the universe over the next few days.  First, I met with my marketing consultant, Laura, and she told me about the work she’s doing with blogs and membership-based businesses.  She told me that the direction of her practice will be to help her clients with these businesses.  Then, I opened the local paper and found an article on how to create and market a blog.  Then, I received an email invitation to hear a speaker whose blog I had recently visited and liked.  I attended the meeting and happened to sit at the same table as the speaker, allowing me to ask her questions about her business. My friend Tim says he pays special attention when he receives two or more whispers from the universe - and I had received three in as many days.  I knew I needed to sit up and smell the coffee! 

I believe that Spirit sends us these messages when we are ready for them, and it is our duty to pay attention.  In fact, I think we ignore these messages at our peril.  The Universe will sense our ingratitude or indifference if we don’t notice and act on them - and we will no longer receive the messages. Or, it may be that we shut ourselves off from the communication flow when we ignore them. Our privilege is to heed and act on them. 

So, here I am - a blogger.  I am trusting God to show me where this will lead me because I’m not entirely sure why I’m doing this - only that I’m called to do it. 

Remember to notice and act on the whispers you receive from the Universe.  I’d love to hear from you when you do!

Prayer:  Mother/Father God, Guide our feet as we walk on our journey with you.  Thank you for the whispered messages you send us in the form of synchronicities, and help us take notice of them.  Amen. 

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I’m always looking for ways to incorporate spirituality and mindfulness into my everyday life (hence this blog), and I’ve found a way that busy people can enfold the spiritual practice of mindfulness into their lives. One technique that I’m working with is to use waiting time (like at the post office, grocery store, lunch counter, etc.) to pay attention to your breath and be in the present moment. I find that by doing this, I am much more relaxed and calm as I go through my day.

You need to understand that waiting is very hard for me to do, for several reasons. Perhaps you can relate to some of them. One is that I am not naturally a patient person – I can see inefficiencies in a process and don’t understand why other people don’t also see it, and fix it! Another reason is that I have years of experience managing call centers in which responding to customer’s calls in a timely manner is the highest priority. Keeping customers waiting in that environment dings the metrics and makes you look bad to management. And lastly, I have taught customer service skills for years, skills that include acknowledging the customer, looking them in the eye and apologizing for any inconvenience. Waiting in line at a retail establishment just raises my hackles.

So, yesterday, I had an opportunity to exercise my “being in the moment” skills when I went to the post office to mail a package. The line was long but instead of internally groaning, I decided that this was an opportunity to experiment (again!) with being in the present moment. I lowered my gaze to the floor, and started observing my in-breaths and out-breaths, counting them to 10 and then starting over at 1. I noticed my feet on the floor and how I was holding my shoulders (I straightened them several times during the wait) and I relaxed my belly which is the place I usually hold tension. Most important, I half-smiled during this time. Not a goofy grin, but just an upturning of the corners of the mouth. This, I decided, was the most important element – the half-smile - because by smiling we feel happier. That’s the mind-body connection at work, in which physically acting happy can lift our mood.

I did OK. My mind kept wandering like a small curious puppy, but I lovingly brought it back to the breath again and again. Small winds of feeling annoyed at the situation and thoughts of how the post office staff could make this better blew through my mind, but I let them blow right on by and returned to the breath. After completing my transaction, I got in my car, took a deep breath and said to myself, “That wasn’t so bad!” Big words for an impatient woman.

Prayer: Holy One, help me to live in the present moment more and more, so I may live fully and consciously, aware of Your presence in my life, moment by moment. I ask for Your help on this journey. Amen.

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