The Everyday Mystic

Friends, I have decided to silence my Everyday Mystic blog for the time being. I am in the middle of a spiritual retreat in everyday life following the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. I have committed an hour a day to prayer, meditation, study and journaling for the duration of this retreat, or until the end of May, 2010. In addition to taking up a significant amount of my time every day, I find that the retreat is taking me on an interior journey that is amazing, marvelous and, at times, difficult.  And, above all, it is a private journey that I no longer feel comfortable sharing in this public forum. Therefore, I have decided to take an extended sabbatical on this blog, at least until June, 2010, when I will complete the retreat in everyday life.

I’d like to leave you with one exercise from the retreat that I have found most tender and helpful. 

Every morning, for about five minutes, sit still and contemplate how Source beholds you. Source or God is like an unconditionally loving parent or grandparent, who extends to you abundant love, acceptance and forgiveness. There is nothing you need do or say or achieve to deserve this love; there is nothing you can do to lose it. This abiding love has surrounded you since the inception of your soul, when God created you.

Listen to what Source has to say to you: “You are our blessed daughter or son, in whom we are well pleased. We love you whatever you do - we love you unconditionally - so you can cease your striving and rest in our embrace. We grieve for you when you choose to turn your face away from love, and rejoice when you return to us. Know that we are always here, ready to enfold you in the light of our love.”

This practice, done daily, will change your life, as it has mine. You will look in the mirror and see a different person staring back at you. You will come to love yourself completely, unabashedly and lavishly, as Source loves you. What greater gift - the gift of self-love - can you give to yourself and to the world?  For, if you cannot fully love yourself, you haven’t a prayer of fully loving others.

Blessings to you as you travel on this sacred and wonderful journey called life.

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Note: Kristin has recently begun a nine-month “retreat in real life” following the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius. She shares her journey in The Everyday Mystic blog.

In this week’s meditation and prayer exercises, we read Job, chapters 38 through 40:5, in which God admonishes Job for being so proud.  God enumerates the wondrous aspects of God’s creation: the sea, the sun, the stars, the mountain goats, ostriches and horses.  At the end of three chapters of God going on and on about all the features and creatures of Earth, Job finally gives in, saying (and I paraphrase), “OK, God, you win.  I know that I’m dependent on you.  I’ll shut up now.”

That got me pondering: What it is about nature and God’s earth that is so powerfully spiritual to many people?  I was considering the “nature of nature”. Why do people sense God’s presence in viewing a sunset over the ocean, or during a quiet walk in the forest? Some people tell me that the only place they sense a Divine presence is when they are outdoors in nature. What underlies the attraction, the fascination, the ability to perceive the Divine in nature? I identified several aspects in my meditation.

First, nature’s beauty simply is.  You can do nothing to deserve or earn the beauty of a sunset or the gift of a perfect acorn dropped onto your path. It is there for you, free for the taking. You can tend, nurture and tread lightly on nature, but you don’t have to pay for the sweet-smelling morning breeze or the majesty of a purple mountain. It is a gift freely given to all who can behold it. Just like Source’s love, you don’t pay for the beauty of the earth. You can do nothing to earn, deserve or pay for Divine love and acceptance, for at your core, you are a pure and innocent children of God. You are a recipient of the unconditional love of the Creator, just because of the mere fact of your existence. God loves you - no exceptions - despite your limitations and weaknesses. In beholding the gifts of nature, you sense the mysterious gift of God’s love - freely given, abundantly given, impossible to lose, impossible to deserve.

Nature is the handiwork of God.  “For God created the heavens and the earth,” it says in Genesis. Just as you are created by the Divine hand, so is nature. In comparison to humans, however, nature is raw and unbridled, without an ego that might distort its true character.  In beholding nature, we behold the full power and majesty of the Divine.

Lastly, the beauty of nature takes your breath away, clearing away everyday thoughts and cares, opening your heart and spirit so that you can hear the voice of God, feel the Divine presence and see the results of God’s work.  Despite the earnest efforts of scientists, humans still do not fully understand nature, nor can humans control it.  In the face of this mystery, you feel awe and reverence. Nature is a direct reflection of the Divine.

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This week marks the period between Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur, the day of atonement. The ten days between these High Holidays are called the Days of Awe.  During the Days of Awe, Jews take an inventory of their life and make amends, either to God or to another person, for their words or deeds that missed the mark.  They also practice charity, study the Torah and pray.  Tradition states that during these days, the book of life remains open until Yom Kippur, and you have an opportunity to influence how God will inscribe you in the book for either a sweet or a difficult year.

You don’t have to be Jewish to see the benefit in taking stock of your life, making amends with people who you may have hurt, squaring away your relationship with the Divine and sharing your abundance with those who are less fortunate. The Jewish High Holy days usually arrive just after the start of the school year, so it is a good time to look over the past year and seek ways to begin afresh to pave the way for a sweet year to come.

Here are some ways that you can celebrate the Days of Awe in your own way:

• Apologize. Thinking back over the last year, are there apologies that you need to make?  Are there people you hurt, either consciously or unconsciously?  Now is a good time to make amends, starting with the simple words, “I’m sorry.”
• Be charitable. I am always being asked to contribute to various worthy causes - it seems like everyone is walking for some charity nowadays! Be sure to give what you can when asked. Alternatively, seek out your favorite charity and send them an unsolicited contribution. All non-profit organizations are hurting for money at this time, so your donation will be deeply appreciated. You could volunteer your time for a charity. At the very least, clean out your closet and bring your unwanted items to Goodwill or your local community exchange.
• Pray. Talk to God and then listen for a message back to you. It only takes a few minutes and it will strengthen your connection with the Divine. Ask for God’s forgiveness for whatever you have done to miss the mark of recognizing God’s love in your life.  Know that you are forgiven even before the words rise to your lips.
• Study the good book.  Whatever the “good book” is to you, read it this week. It could be poetry, the Bible, a motivational book or a really great novel - anything that uplifts your soul. Spend some time investing in your mind and your spirit.

Jews and non-Jews alike can honor the Days of Awe this week with just a few minutes each day. Your spirit will be refreshed and you will be prepared for a sweet year!

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Note: I take time today to share with you what’s going on in my spiritual life and invite you to follow the course of my retreat over the next nine months.

Several times in my life, I have been called to follow certain disciplines in spirituality.  In 2000, I studied and finished A Course In Miracles and found that year-long practice wonderfully rich and spiritually rewarding. Since then, I have worked with other self-growth and spirituality programs and delighted in each of them.

I now start on perhaps the most rigorous, disciplined and exciting spiritual development program yet - The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius.

As part of my training at HeartPaths Dallas to become a Spiritual Director, I begin a nine-month “retreat in real life” that follows the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, the Catholic priest and mystic who started the Society of Jesus, or the Jesuits, in 1540. This retreat in real life involves a daily commitment of an hour of my time devoted to prayer, meditation and journaling, while following the readings and exercises that St. Ignatius prescribes. In addition, I attend class once a week and meet with my spiritual director every other week.

According to my teachers, Ignatian Spirituality is based on the following premises:

• We can be contemplatives in action
• We experience prayer in daily life
• The world can be the subject of prayer
• Love shows up in our actions
• Each one of us can have a direct experience of God in prayer

This is perfect for me - the driven one, the achiever, the seeker who needs to know, deep down in her heart, that everything is a gift from God and accept what is.  I look forward to learning how to examine each day and listen for God/Source’s active participation in my life.

And isn’t this perfect for the Everyday Mystic blog! The spirit of Iggy, as we fondly call Ignatius, will be working through my fingers as I blog over the next nine months. I look forward to sharing insights, struggles, peak moments and dry spots of my retreat - all in hopes of helping you illuminate your path with Source’s love and light.

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Peak moments can be described as life-changing spiritual experiences that typically involve perceiving a light that shines in everything, understanding - no, really understanding at a cellular level - that all is one and having an experience of the “peace that passes all understanding.” Some examples are the conversion of Paul (from the Christian Bible) on the road to Damascus and Eckhart Tolle’s spiritual experience that he describes in the introduction to his book, “The Power of Now”.  Barbara Bradley Hagerty, in her book, “Fingerprints of God”, describes them as quantum changes, and tells many stories of such occurrences, including one of her own. Hagerty cites statistics that suggest that 18% of Americans report having spiritual experiences that are so bizarre that they might be considered evidence of mental illness.  These earth-shaking experiences change the person from the inside out; people report they they never are the same after.

Then there are the rest of us, those who don’t have earthquake-proportioned spiritual experiences, who may have peak glimpses that are tantalizing but can be measured only in nano-seconds. I am one of the rest of us.

If you are in the majority that hasn’t had a quantum change, but still considers yourself a spiritual seeker or mystic, you can’t help but feel somewhat second-class. Why hasn’t Source selected you for such a mind-blowing experience?  Why can’t you attain that bliss?  Are you a fraud?

Just like we are all given many talents and strengths, so are we given spiritual gifts.  My gift, and perhaps yours, has not been, at least up to now, to have a peak moment that shatters my misperceptions and leaves me completely changed. My gift has been to recognize the peak glimpses instead and to be grateful for them.

Peak glimpses can be the feeling of gratitude in nature, in playing with young children, or seeing someone’s smile.  Peak glimpses can come to you in a tingle on your face, a sparkle of light when speaking to someone.  It can be the aha experience of seeing the Divinity in a person.

Living with your eyes and heart wide open allow you to become aware of the peak glimpses.  That is what most of us must be extremely grateful for.

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Little words and actions have tremendous power.  We bless or curse others by the small things that we do or say.  Sadly, we are often unconscious of, or unintentional about, the potential consequences of our words and deeds.  Reminders of this give us pause, and allow us to ponder the importance of living consciously and choosing words carefully.

This week, I was reminded of how our words can bless while talking to a colleague about a conversation we had several years ago.  He remembers telling me that he couldn’t imagine himself taking on a leadership role in the IT department where he was working. According to this person, I questioned his assumption by simply saying, “Really?  Why not?”  I have no recollection of our conversation.

Today, he is a leader in an IT department, in the exact role that he previously could not imagine. He credits his career development in part to my questioning his self-doubt.

I remember hearing a similar but more dramatic story about a depressed, suicidal young man who decided to take his own life by drowning himself in the river. On his sad march down to the riverside, he encountered a woman going the other way.  She looked him in the eyes, smiled and kindly said, “Good morning!” to him. He was so touched by this simple gesture, thinking that if even one person considered it a good morning, then he had something to live for. Instead of killing himself, he returned to his apartment, eventually enrolled in medical school and became an Emergency Room physician. How ironic that this young man evolved from wanting to end his life to fighting for other’s lives - all because of the simple, everyday kindness of one person who probably doesn’t remember the encounter. 

Was that woman an angel?  To the young suicidal man, she certainly was. Or perhaps Source energy flowed through her in a way that made her a momentary angel, just like I was to my colleague in questioning his assumptions.  Unwittingly, we bless those around us.

The opposite is also true: our words and deeds can hurt others in unintended or unconscious ways. If you are a parent, it can be terrifying to think of the unintended consequences of your actions or words.

Be conscious of your words and deeds, as they can become unintended blessings - or unintended curses. This is the goal of conscious living - to live with eyes and heart wide open, intending harm to no one.

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When you experience a potentially hurtful event, you put the experience through your personal mental filters and interpret it accordingly.  This is the second step in creating a grievance story - interpreting the event.  The event itself is neither bad nor good, but your thinking makes it so. And, as soon as you interpret the event as bad, you have laid the first brick in building a big, hairy grievance story, which will require the effort of forgiveness to de-construct.  Therefore, it is important to challenge your interpretation and don’t believe everything you think at first.  You will save yourself the energy of building a grievance story and subsequently having to forgive.

The first instinct you probably experience after a potentially hurtful incident is self-defense.  You defend yourself against your alleged attacker and make yourself the hero and the other person the villain. This reaction is terribly human but doesn’t produce the greatest long-term happiness and inner peace.  In fact, it just makes you angry, resentful and bitter, which are heavy emotional loads that tire you out and make you grumpy.

Challenge your interpretation. Hold a debate with yourself and argue another point of view. Make a game of conjuring up alternative stories about the situation.

For example, your brother/friend/boss/co-worker (substitute your favorite adversary) does something you think is extremely stupid and inconsiderate, prompting you to get mad and say so. Your first reaction is to defend yourself, labeling the other person the jerk and yourself the angel. Sure, you can fan the flames of that story and create a big bonfire of a grievance story, but you’ll be the one that gets burned. Instead, try to take another perspective and find a different interpretation.

Of course, if the other person did something unethical or illegal, you should not thwart the natural consequences of that person’s behavior. What we’re talking about here is the inside game - the benefit to yourself to consider other interpretations of what happened.

Here are some questions to ask yourself to re-frame the situation, gain a new perspective and stop building a grievance story:

• What would cause me to act in the same manner as the one who hurt me?
• Will I even remember this when I’m on my deathbed?
• If I were diagnosed with a terminal illness and had only 30 days to live, how would I see this incident?
• How can I attribute a positive or benign motive to the other person’s actions?

Don’t believe everything you think! Challenge your self-defensive thoughts the next time you are aggrieved and make up a new story. By expanding your perspective of the situation, you can avoid the need for forgiveness and find more happiness.

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“I’ve been walking my energetic puppy every morning for the last six months, and I’ve lost 10 lbs!” enthused a friend recently.  When I asked for further details, this woman explained that she’s been pulled at the end of a leash for 30 minutes every morning since a young, hyperactive canine came into her life. The vigorous walking and the daily, repetitive nature of the exercise is what has gotten her into great shape. 

It got me to thinking about the benefits of a daily practice.

Whether your goal is losing weight, achieving mastery of a skill, building a business or seeking a closer connection with Source, the greatest benefits come after many months - or years - of steady, daily efforts.  A steady practice builds our skills and expertise.  Generally, it’s only after sustained effort that come spectacular results.

I worked with a man who, on the eve of his company’s fabulously successful initial public offering, said, “We’ve worked nine years to become an overnight success.” Inherent in his droll witticism is the truth that you may toil for a long time without seeing the fruits of your labor.  Just like nature’s fruits, the fruits of your labor take time to flower, form and ripen before they can be harvested.

The same can be said for the inner life or the spiritual journey. Habits such as a short daily mediation or prayer time pay off in the long run, resulting in greater personal serenity, increased emotional control, the ability to step back from the daily drama to see the big picture and the grace to perceive the Divine presence in your life.  The benefits of a daily spiritual practice are great, but they don’t necessarily show up right away. Yes, there can be peak moments in life, but the more you practice listening to the still, small voice, the more you open to the sacred essence in each moment.

The trick is to enjoy the daily, steady practice.

What can you do to have a daily, steady spiritual practice?  All it takes is 5-10 minutes a day on a consistent basis.  Everyone has 5-10 minutes a day! If your inner life is important to you, you’ll want to put a high priority on that sacred time.

What you do in that daily 10 minutes is up to you. You will be naturally drawn toward a type of devotion that suits you, and you may have to sample many practices before knowing what is right for you. You might:

• Sit in nature and simply observe it with all your senses 
• Sit quietly with a cup of coffee or tea, just being with yourself
• Meditate
• Pray
• Read scripture, poetry or other inspirational works
• Write in your journal
• Keep a gratitude list
• Walk slowly and mindfully, aware of your breath and your body

It’s not important what you do, but that you have a daily practice.  Then, in six months, read your journal, gratitude list or mentally review your inner journey. Marvel at where you have come, and how far - at all times remembering that this is a journey without end and that the joy is in the traveling.

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Many spiritual seekers find communion with Source in nature. No wonder - nature evokes wonder and awe, gratitude and satisfaction. Its beauty is a feast for the senses. Nature reminds you of how small you are and, at the same time, how vast the interconnection is among all of life.

Music also evokes spiritual awakenings.  Music speaks to your heart and soul, invites you to sing or dance, creates a whole body awareness of the beauty of the human experience.

Enjoying music outdoors in nature is a special treat for the senses, the heart and the soul.  Some of my most sacred moments have been at outdoor concerts during the summertime.  Lying on a blanket, looking up at the night sky, surrounded by the sounds of summer and music - that’s heaven on earth for me.

Why not combine nature and music this 4th of July weekend?  Here in North Texas, you can at the Fort Worth Symphony’s Concerts in the Garden, at the Fort Worth Botanic Garden. The symphony plays a patriotic concert tonight and tomorrow night, July 3 and 4th.  On Sunday night, you can hear Tchaikovsky’s explosive 1812 Overture and one of the Cliburn Piano Competition finalists performing Rachmaninoff’s Piano Concerto No. 3.  For more information, visit http://www.fwsymphony.org/concerts/concerts-in-the-garden.asp 

Wherever you are, treat yourself to an outdoor concert for Independence Day weekend!

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Note: This post if from guest blogger Jana Wertheim, a partner on my spiritual journey and a wonderful friend.  Enjoy her thoughts! - Kristin

Since December 2008, I have been without a paying job. Part of my spiritual practice has become jogging most week-day mornings and while jogging, I repeat positive affirmations. One of my favorite affirmations is this one by Louise Hay:

In the infinity of life where I am,

all is perfect, whole and complete.

I believe in a power far greater than I am

that flows through me every moment of every day.

I open myself to the wisdom within,

knowing that there is only One Intelligence in this Universe.

Out of this One Intelligence comes all the answers,

all the solutions, all the healings, and all the new creations.

I trust this Power and Intelligence,

knowing that whatever I need to know is revealed to me,

and that whatever I need comes to me

in the right time, space, and sequence.

All is well in my world.

Job searching (which I think is really about soul searching) can be challenging, so having this time in the morning has been helpful to calm and strengthen both my body and my mind.

Another thing I have done is to summon up old and dear friends, relationships that I let slide over the years because, well, I was so busy working, family-ing, and churching. My friends have been so supportive and have welcomed me with open arms and hearts, even when I don’t think I deserve it. They have lifted my spirits and encouraged me to take risks even when I feel afraid. I am very blessed by my friends, like Kristin, who encouraged me to post these ideas on her blog.

When it comes to job searching, I also find that it is sometimes difficult to discern when I need to keep on plugging toward a goal/destination and when I need to let it go. Sometimes I get so bogged down in all the details and obstacles of pursuing something that I throw up my hands in frustration and give it up altogether. So when do I keep on keeping on and when do I let it go? I think that sometimes we have to give up one way in order to find another way. It may not be the original goal that is wrong as it is the current method of getting there.

So besides jogging, saying positive affirmations, and talking to friends I also use an audio tape that helps me relax and is designed to allow answers to emerge from within myself. There are plenty of tapes our there, but the one I use is called Healing Mind System 2.0 by Dr Jeffrey Thompson with the Center for Neuroacoustic Research in Encinitas, California. He speaks of the Inner Physician within us all, out of which comes all our healing. Dr Thompson has created tapes based on research on brainwave activity. His suggestions on ways to use the tape mentioned above are very helpful and include such purposes as simple relaxation, during yoga exercise, or to help work through a difficult problem or an emotional issue. He says, Create the intention for yourself that you are open to finding the resolution to a specific emotional issue…Avoid having your conscious mind try to figure the problem out. These kinds of emotional answers come from elsewhere.

So that brings me back to the original question I set out to address , which is when do I look for answers and when do I let go? Maybe the answer is yes, maybe it is the balance of all of the above. I am using a combination of jogging, positive affirmations, talking to good friends, and listening to an audio tape, all of which helps me calm down, open up possibilities, receive support from friends, and allows answers to emerge from within. Answers are everywhere, in each of these, even in the writing of my thoughts.

We will talk more about these things and more tomorrow, Sunday, March 8, in the Metaphysical Mystics class at Pathways Church in Southlake at 11:20 am. Hope to see you there!

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