The Everyday Mystic

Friends, I have decided to silence my Everyday Mystic blog for the time being. I am in the middle of a spiritual retreat in everyday life following the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. I have committed an hour a day to prayer, meditation, study and journaling for the duration of this retreat, or until the end of May, 2010. In addition to taking up a significant amount of my time every day, I find that the retreat is taking me on an interior journey that is amazing, marvelous and, at times, difficult.  And, above all, it is a private journey that I no longer feel comfortable sharing in this public forum. Therefore, I have decided to take an extended sabbatical on this blog, at least until June, 2010, when I will complete the retreat in everyday life.

I’d like to leave you with one exercise from the retreat that I have found most tender and helpful. 

Every morning, for about five minutes, sit still and contemplate how Source beholds you. Source or God is like an unconditionally loving parent or grandparent, who extends to you abundant love, acceptance and forgiveness. There is nothing you need do or say or achieve to deserve this love; there is nothing you can do to lose it. This abiding love has surrounded you since the inception of your soul, when God created you.

Listen to what Source has to say to you: “You are our blessed daughter or son, in whom we are well pleased. We love you whatever you do - we love you unconditionally - so you can cease your striving and rest in our embrace. We grieve for you when you choose to turn your face away from love, and rejoice when you return to us. Know that we are always here, ready to enfold you in the light of our love.”

This practice, done daily, will change your life, as it has mine. You will look in the mirror and see a different person staring back at you. You will come to love yourself completely, unabashedly and lavishly, as Source loves you. What greater gift - the gift of self-love - can you give to yourself and to the world?  For, if you cannot fully love yourself, you haven’t a prayer of fully loving others.

Blessings to you as you travel on this sacred and wonderful journey called life.

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Note: Kristin has recently begun a nine-month “retreat in real life” following the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius. She shares her journey in The Everyday Mystic blog.

In this week’s meditation and prayer exercises, we read Job, chapters 38 through 40:5, in which God admonishes Job for being so proud.  God enumerates the wondrous aspects of God’s creation: the sea, the sun, the stars, the mountain goats, ostriches and horses.  At the end of three chapters of God going on and on about all the features and creatures of Earth, Job finally gives in, saying (and I paraphrase), “OK, God, you win.  I know that I’m dependent on you.  I’ll shut up now.”

That got me pondering: What it is about nature and God’s earth that is so powerfully spiritual to many people?  I was considering the “nature of nature”. Why do people sense God’s presence in viewing a sunset over the ocean, or during a quiet walk in the forest? Some people tell me that the only place they sense a Divine presence is when they are outdoors in nature. What underlies the attraction, the fascination, the ability to perceive the Divine in nature? I identified several aspects in my meditation.

First, nature’s beauty simply is.  You can do nothing to deserve or earn the beauty of a sunset or the gift of a perfect acorn dropped onto your path. It is there for you, free for the taking. You can tend, nurture and tread lightly on nature, but you don’t have to pay for the sweet-smelling morning breeze or the majesty of a purple mountain. It is a gift freely given to all who can behold it. Just like Source’s love, you don’t pay for the beauty of the earth. You can do nothing to earn, deserve or pay for Divine love and acceptance, for at your core, you are a pure and innocent children of God. You are a recipient of the unconditional love of the Creator, just because of the mere fact of your existence. God loves you - no exceptions - despite your limitations and weaknesses. In beholding the gifts of nature, you sense the mysterious gift of God’s love - freely given, abundantly given, impossible to lose, impossible to deserve.

Nature is the handiwork of God.  “For God created the heavens and the earth,” it says in Genesis. Just as you are created by the Divine hand, so is nature. In comparison to humans, however, nature is raw and unbridled, without an ego that might distort its true character.  In beholding nature, we behold the full power and majesty of the Divine.

Lastly, the beauty of nature takes your breath away, clearing away everyday thoughts and cares, opening your heart and spirit so that you can hear the voice of God, feel the Divine presence and see the results of God’s work.  Despite the earnest efforts of scientists, humans still do not fully understand nature, nor can humans control it.  In the face of this mystery, you feel awe and reverence. Nature is a direct reflection of the Divine.

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Note: Kristin has recently begun a nine-month “retreat in real life” following the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius. She shares her path in The Everyday Mystic blog.

The preparatory phase of the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius is, according to my teachers, meant to assure you of God/Source’s unconditional love and acceptance. You are to bask in this love, to luxuriate in God’s loving arms and be the Beloved to God-as-your-Lover.  You are to know, with the deepest, surest understanding, that you are precious, more than good enough and indeed spectacular in God’s eyes. You are to become so secure in this knowing as to be unshakeable.

You do this by spending 45 minutes in the morning reading, meditating and writing about scripture such as Psalm 23 (”the Lord is my shepherd”), Isaiah 43:1-4 (”you are precious in my sight, and honored, and I love you”) and Luke 12:22-34 (”Lilies of the field… you are much more precious”).  Then, at night, you practice the Examen (pronounced ex-ay-men) in which you review (or examine) the moments of your day and identify when you were attuned to God’s love and when you missed perceiving God’s love.

For me, days one through three are exhilarating. I am rolling in God’s love like a pig in mud - splashing in it, laughing in it, wriggling with glee. I am just fine through the morning of day four, too.  Skipping hand in hand with God, as it were. And then I go to a business meeting and - wham! - I am not feeling a bit of God’s love, to say the least! Like a car wreck, I slam into wall of self-criticism, feelings of I’m-not-good-enough, judgment of others and general grumpiness. I am cruelly wrested from my happy place and transformed into a monster of negativity. I make a hasty retreat from the meeting and go home to lick my wounds.

God and I had a serious, tear-filled talk last night during the Examen. “This isn’t working, God,” I cried. We agreed on some strategies for me to stay in better relation with Love. God assured me that everything is going to plan, that somehow this is all perfect. I think I said something like, “Yeah, right - do you REALLY expect me to believe that?”  God rubbed my head and my heart softened.

Today was much better. I can just begin to see that, yes, this is all perfect. Maybe tomorrow I will laugh at myself.

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