The Everyday Mystic

Friends, I have decided to silence my Everyday Mystic blog for the time being. I am in the middle of a spiritual retreat in everyday life following the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius. I have committed an hour a day to prayer, meditation, study and journaling for the duration of this retreat, or until the end of May, 2010. In addition to taking up a significant amount of my time every day, I find that the retreat is taking me on an interior journey that is amazing, marvelous and, at times, difficult.  And, above all, it is a private journey that I no longer feel comfortable sharing in this public forum. Therefore, I have decided to take an extended sabbatical on this blog, at least until June, 2010, when I will complete the retreat in everyday life.

I’d like to leave you with one exercise from the retreat that I have found most tender and helpful. 

Every morning, for about five minutes, sit still and contemplate how Source beholds you. Source or God is like an unconditionally loving parent or grandparent, who extends to you abundant love, acceptance and forgiveness. There is nothing you need do or say or achieve to deserve this love; there is nothing you can do to lose it. This abiding love has surrounded you since the inception of your soul, when God created you.

Listen to what Source has to say to you: “You are our blessed daughter or son, in whom we are well pleased. We love you whatever you do - we love you unconditionally - so you can cease your striving and rest in our embrace. We grieve for you when you choose to turn your face away from love, and rejoice when you return to us. Know that we are always here, ready to enfold you in the light of our love.”

This practice, done daily, will change your life, as it has mine. You will look in the mirror and see a different person staring back at you. You will come to love yourself completely, unabashedly and lavishly, as Source loves you. What greater gift - the gift of self-love - can you give to yourself and to the world?  For, if you cannot fully love yourself, you haven’t a prayer of fully loving others.

Blessings to you as you travel on this sacred and wonderful journey called life.

Related Articles

• The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius
• Nature and the nature of the Divine
• Trusting God
• Hello, and about me
• The Evolving Soul: Credo

Note: Kristin has recently begun a nine-month “retreat in real life” following the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius. She shares her journey in The Everyday Mystic blog.

In this week’s meditation and prayer exercises, we read Job, chapters 38 through 40:5, in which God admonishes Job for being so proud.  God enumerates the wondrous aspects of God’s creation: the sea, the sun, the stars, the mountain goats, ostriches and horses.  At the end of three chapters of God going on and on about all the features and creatures of Earth, Job finally gives in, saying (and I paraphrase), “OK, God, you win.  I know that I’m dependent on you.  I’ll shut up now.”

That got me pondering: What it is about nature and God’s earth that is so powerfully spiritual to many people?  I was considering the “nature of nature”. Why do people sense God’s presence in viewing a sunset over the ocean, or during a quiet walk in the forest? Some people tell me that the only place they sense a Divine presence is when they are outdoors in nature. What underlies the attraction, the fascination, the ability to perceive the Divine in nature? I identified several aspects in my meditation.

First, nature’s beauty simply is.  You can do nothing to deserve or earn the beauty of a sunset or the gift of a perfect acorn dropped onto your path. It is there for you, free for the taking. You can tend, nurture and tread lightly on nature, but you don’t have to pay for the sweet-smelling morning breeze or the majesty of a purple mountain. It is a gift freely given to all who can behold it. Just like Source’s love, you don’t pay for the beauty of the earth. You can do nothing to earn, deserve or pay for Divine love and acceptance, for at your core, you are a pure and innocent children of God. You are a recipient of the unconditional love of the Creator, just because of the mere fact of your existence. God loves you - no exceptions - despite your limitations and weaknesses. In beholding the gifts of nature, you sense the mysterious gift of God’s love - freely given, abundantly given, impossible to lose, impossible to deserve.

Nature is the handiwork of God.  “For God created the heavens and the earth,” it says in Genesis. Just as you are created by the Divine hand, so is nature. In comparison to humans, however, nature is raw and unbridled, without an ego that might distort its true character.  In beholding nature, we behold the full power and majesty of the Divine.

Lastly, the beauty of nature takes your breath away, clearing away everyday thoughts and cares, opening your heart and spirit so that you can hear the voice of God, feel the Divine presence and see the results of God’s work.  Despite the earnest efforts of scientists, humans still do not fully understand nature, nor can humans control it.  In the face of this mystery, you feel awe and reverence. Nature is a direct reflection of the Divine.

Related Articles

• The Divine’s Gift of Nature
• God’s forgiveness is pre-emptive
• The Importance of Beauty
• To Forgive is Divine, or The Big Picture
• Give Yourself a Double Dose of Heaven this Weekend

Kristin was recently featured on WSRadio by Debbie Alan, host of “On the Home Stretch” radio show.  Debbie interviewed Kristin on the topic of forgiveness.  You can hear a recording of the show at http://www.wsradio.com/player/wsradio-player2.cfm/type/windows/show/On-The-HomeStretch/segment/27972.html

Related Articles

• Forgiveness and emotional release telesummit
• Mindfulness Moments: Finding Time for the Sacred in Everyday Life
• How to Recognize and Trust your Heavenly Messengers
• Celebrate Global Forgiveness Day!
• Mini-Peak Moments

Note: Kristin is in the midst of a nine-month “retreat in real life” following the Spiritual Exercises of St Ignatius. She shares her path in The Everyday Mystic blog.

In the third preparatory week of the Exercises of St Ignatius, your focus is on God’s deep desire to forgive you.  I call this God’s pre-emptive forgiveness, because God is ready to forgive you even before your actions!  To let the depth of this promise sink into your soul is liberating and comforting.

One of the passages that we read is the story of the prodigal son, who squanders his inheritance and comes home to his father, who throws a party for him!  Here is what I heard from Source about coming home to the Divine:

“A thousand times a day, in thousands of ways, you turn away from Us. You worry about earthly things, you speak harshly, you judge yourself and others, you question the universe’s great abundance, you lose patience. We feast when you come back to sensing Our presence.  We celebrate every time you come home to Us. We rejoice every time you turn your face back toward Us! We throw a party!”

In Isaiah 55, we are assured that God will abundantly pardon and have mercy on us. It was during this time that I began to realize a breakthrough concept:  There is nothing you or I can do to earn, deserve or lose God’s love for us.  God’s love and God’s forgiveness is constant, like the air we breath.  We live in it, are enveloped in it, luxuriate in it.

So, we can lean back and relax, right into God’s arms, knowing that we are preemptively forgiven and forever loved.

Related Articles

• Goodbye for now
• Nature and the nature of the Divine
• Timing is Everything, Even with Forgiveness
• The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius
• Celebrate Global Forgiveness Day!

This week marks the period between Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, and Yom Kippur, the day of atonement. The ten days between these High Holidays are called the Days of Awe.  During the Days of Awe, Jews take an inventory of their life and make amends, either to God or to another person, for their words or deeds that missed the mark.  They also practice charity, study the Torah and pray.  Tradition states that during these days, the book of life remains open until Yom Kippur, and you have an opportunity to influence how God will inscribe you in the book for either a sweet or a difficult year.

You don’t have to be Jewish to see the benefit in taking stock of your life, making amends with people who you may have hurt, squaring away your relationship with the Divine and sharing your abundance with those who are less fortunate. The Jewish High Holy days usually arrive just after the start of the school year, so it is a good time to look over the past year and seek ways to begin afresh to pave the way for a sweet year to come.

Here are some ways that you can celebrate the Days of Awe in your own way:

• Apologize. Thinking back over the last year, are there apologies that you need to make?  Are there people you hurt, either consciously or unconsciously?  Now is a good time to make amends, starting with the simple words, “I’m sorry.”
• Be charitable. I am always being asked to contribute to various worthy causes - it seems like everyone is walking for some charity nowadays! Be sure to give what you can when asked. Alternatively, seek out your favorite charity and send them an unsolicited contribution. All non-profit organizations are hurting for money at this time, so your donation will be deeply appreciated. You could volunteer your time for a charity. At the very least, clean out your closet and bring your unwanted items to Goodwill or your local community exchange.
• Pray. Talk to God and then listen for a message back to you. It only takes a few minutes and it will strengthen your connection with the Divine. Ask for God’s forgiveness for whatever you have done to miss the mark of recognizing God’s love in your life.  Know that you are forgiven even before the words rise to your lips.
• Study the good book.  Whatever the “good book” is to you, read it this week. It could be poetry, the Bible, a motivational book or a really great novel - anything that uplifts your soul. Spend some time investing in your mind and your spirit.

Jews and non-Jews alike can honor the Days of Awe this week with just a few minutes each day. Your spirit will be refreshed and you will be prepared for a sweet year!

Related Articles

• Living as an Everyday Mystic
• Hello, and about me
• Fallow Fields Reap Rewards
• Goodbye to Summertime
• New Year Self Examination

Note: I take time today to share with you what’s going on in my spiritual life and invite you to follow the course of my retreat over the next nine months.

Several times in my life, I have been called to follow certain disciplines in spirituality.  In 2000, I studied and finished A Course In Miracles and found that year-long practice wonderfully rich and spiritually rewarding. Since then, I have worked with other self-growth and spirituality programs and delighted in each of them.

I now start on perhaps the most rigorous, disciplined and exciting spiritual development program yet - The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius.

As part of my training at HeartPaths Dallas to become a Spiritual Director, I begin a nine-month “retreat in real life” that follows the Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius of Loyola, the Catholic priest and mystic who started the Society of Jesus, or the Jesuits, in 1540. This retreat in real life involves a daily commitment of an hour of my time devoted to prayer, meditation and journaling, while following the readings and exercises that St. Ignatius prescribes. In addition, I attend class once a week and meet with my spiritual director every other week.

According to my teachers, Ignatian Spirituality is based on the following premises:

• We can be contemplatives in action
• We experience prayer in daily life
• The world can be the subject of prayer
• Love shows up in our actions
• Each one of us can have a direct experience of God in prayer

This is perfect for me - the driven one, the achiever, the seeker who needs to know, deep down in her heart, that everything is a gift from God and accept what is.  I look forward to learning how to examine each day and listen for God/Source’s active participation in my life.

And isn’t this perfect for the Everyday Mystic blog! The spirit of Iggy, as we fondly call Ignatius, will be working through my fingers as I blog over the next nine months. I look forward to sharing insights, struggles, peak moments and dry spots of my retreat - all in hopes of helping you illuminate your path with Source’s love and light.

Related Articles

• Goodbye for now
• God’s forgiveness is pre-emptive
• Nature and the nature of the Divine
• Living as an Everyday Mystic
• Living as an Everyday Mystic: Weekly Sabbath

An important step in forgiving someone is deciding what, if any, action to take after you’ve forgiven. In my book, A Forgiveness Journal, I propose seven steps to achieving forgiveness.  The sixth step is Take Action. Note that it is the penultimate step, positioned after you’ve been able to achieve some measure of forgiveness. The action you take is always going to be a more effective, more loving decision if you can act with the clarity of heart and mind that forgiveness affords.

Remember, forgiveness is the attainment of a feeling of peace and compassion toward the person who hurt you. If forgiveness is an uncomfortable term for you, you might try to frame it as acceptance of what happened.

When women ask me what to do about a spouse or partner who has been unfaithful to them, I always recommend attempting to forgive before deciding on whether to separate or divorce.

In the case of infidelity, the decision to leave or stay in the marriage should be based on many elements in the relationship, including past history in the relationship (Has the husband been violent or abusive? Is this the first instance of infidelity in the marriage?) and the presence of children. However, the decision you make will be a better one if you can forgive, even in part, before making it.

Jenny Sanford, wife of South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford, is a good example of forgiving her husband, who publicly admitted to having an extra-marital affair, and taking decisive action.  She has made it clear that, even though she has forgiven him his indiscretion, it is up to the governor to re-build the trust in their marriage.  Last month, she moved out of the governor’s mansion in Columbia, SC with her three young sons, citing the need for separation from her husband and less public scrutiny of her sons.  She has left the door open for reconciliation and yet took decisive action.

Whether you have an unfaithful spouse to forgive, a toxic boss, an alcoholic or abusive parent or family member, remember that forgiving that person first will give you power - the power to make a clear decision about your actions.

Stay tuned for more in this series of posts on taking action after forgiving.

Related Articles

• Seven Steps to Forgiveness
• Timing is Everything, Even with Forgiveness
• Forgiveness Fears are Fallacious
• Celebrate Global Forgiveness Day!
• Forgiveness is like Chicken Soup: Good for What Ails You

Global Forgiveness Day is Thursday, August 27, 2009.  Started by CECA, the Christian Embassy of Christ’s Ambassadors, a non-profit organization in Canada, this day is set aside to promote the healing power of forgiveness.  Here are a few things that you can do to celebrate this day:

• View the Global Forgiveness Day’s movie about Forgiveness here.  Ponder the thoughts and inspiration offered in this lovely production.
• Listen to Kristin (me!) being interviewed about forgiveness on The Queen of Dreams radio show at 9:00 pm EDT on Thursday, August 27. You can access the broadcast at no cost in real time or listen to it later here.
• Use the test for forgiveness to identify opportunities for you to forgive.  To perform this test, think of someone or some incident in your past that angered you. If you don’t feel a surge of adrenaline, your shoulders tensing or think an angry thought (which will manifest in your body somewhere), you have achieved the peace that comes with forgiveness.
• Journal about your forgiveness opportunities.  Write about your feelings of anger, bitterness, revenge or hurt.  Get it all out.  Then burn the paper in a symbolic ritual of putting those thoughts and feelings behind you.  Use an outdoor grill or someplace that is safe for a fire.
• Pray for the healing power of forgiveness to wash over you. Pray for or meditate on those who have hurt you. Pray or meditate on the areas of the world that need forgiveness.  You might wish to use the meditation I offer in this post.
• Consider purchasing my book called “A Forgiveness Journal.”  This inspiring book walks you through a seven-step process of forgiveness.  Rather than telling you to “just do it”, it will walk you through many exercises that clear your emotions, provide you with perspective and alternative viewpoints, release your anger and allow you to achieve the profound peace that accompanies forgiveness.
• Remember that you forgive primarily to benefit yourself.  And, the power of your heart, which becomes open and compassionate in the act of forgiving, blesses everyone that you encounter.

May you be blessed on Global Forgiveness Day!

Related Articles

• Forgiveness and emotional release telesummit
• Virtual Book Tour - Two Weeks In Review
• Forgiveness Fears are Fallacious
• Quick wins for forgiveness
• Divine Wisdom

Peak moments can be described as life-changing spiritual experiences that typically involve perceiving a light that shines in everything, understanding - no, really understanding at a cellular level - that all is one and having an experience of the “peace that passes all understanding.” Some examples are the conversion of Paul (from the Christian Bible) on the road to Damascus and Eckhart Tolle’s spiritual experience that he describes in the introduction to his book, “The Power of Now”.  Barbara Bradley Hagerty, in her book, “Fingerprints of God”, describes them as quantum changes, and tells many stories of such occurrences, including one of her own. Hagerty cites statistics that suggest that 18% of Americans report having spiritual experiences that are so bizarre that they might be considered evidence of mental illness.  These earth-shaking experiences change the person from the inside out; people report they they never are the same after.

Then there are the rest of us, those who don’t have earthquake-proportioned spiritual experiences, who may have peak glimpses that are tantalizing but can be measured only in nano-seconds. I am one of the rest of us.

If you are in the majority that hasn’t had a quantum change, but still considers yourself a spiritual seeker or mystic, you can’t help but feel somewhat second-class. Why hasn’t Source selected you for such a mind-blowing experience?  Why can’t you attain that bliss?  Are you a fraud?

Just like we are all given many talents and strengths, so are we given spiritual gifts.  My gift, and perhaps yours, has not been, at least up to now, to have a peak moment that shatters my misperceptions and leaves me completely changed. My gift has been to recognize the peak glimpses instead and to be grateful for them.

Peak glimpses can be the feeling of gratitude in nature, in playing with young children, or seeing someone’s smile.  Peak glimpses can come to you in a tingle on your face, a sparkle of light when speaking to someone.  It can be the aha experience of seeing the Divinity in a person.

Living with your eyes and heart wide open allow you to become aware of the peak glimpses.  That is what most of us must be extremely grateful for.

Related Articles

• Mini-Peak Moments
• Goodbye for now
• The Divine’s Gift of Nature
• The Spiritual Exercises of St. Ignatius
• Christmas Eve Meditation

Little words and actions have tremendous power.  We bless or curse others by the small things that we do or say.  Sadly, we are often unconscious of, or unintentional about, the potential consequences of our words and deeds.  Reminders of this give us pause, and allow us to ponder the importance of living consciously and choosing words carefully.

This week, I was reminded of how our words can bless while talking to a colleague about a conversation we had several years ago.  He remembers telling me that he couldn’t imagine himself taking on a leadership role in the IT department where he was working. According to this person, I questioned his assumption by simply saying, “Really?  Why not?”  I have no recollection of our conversation.

Today, he is a leader in an IT department, in the exact role that he previously could not imagine. He credits his career development in part to my questioning his self-doubt.

I remember hearing a similar but more dramatic story about a depressed, suicidal young man who decided to take his own life by drowning himself in the river. On his sad march down to the riverside, he encountered a woman going the other way.  She looked him in the eyes, smiled and kindly said, “Good morning!” to him. He was so touched by this simple gesture, thinking that if even one person considered it a good morning, then he had something to live for. Instead of killing himself, he returned to his apartment, eventually enrolled in medical school and became an Emergency Room physician. How ironic that this young man evolved from wanting to end his life to fighting for other’s lives - all because of the simple, everyday kindness of one person who probably doesn’t remember the encounter. 

Was that woman an angel?  To the young suicidal man, she certainly was. Or perhaps Source energy flowed through her in a way that made her a momentary angel, just like I was to my colleague in questioning his assumptions.  Unwittingly, we bless those around us.

The opposite is also true: our words and deeds can hurt others in unintended or unconscious ways. If you are a parent, it can be terrifying to think of the unintended consequences of your actions or words.

Be conscious of your words and deeds, as they can become unintended blessings - or unintended curses. This is the goal of conscious living - to live with eyes and heart wide open, intending harm to no one.

Related Articles

• Simple Everyday Miracles that We Give Each Other
• Mothering Ourselves
• Take Nothing Personally: A Process for Workplace Productivity
• How to Choose Love over Fear
• Forgiveness Fears are Fallacious